Americans Flock to Polls Desperate to End Election Season

GlossyNews.com – Exit polls show that while voters split about 50-50 on which candidate they preferr for president, 99.3% agreed that they also voted just to bring an end to the election season.

“Oh, totally,” Miranda Kelly said, “One more day of the ads and I would have been drowning puppies.”

“At this point, I don’t care who wins,” Tom Yerkle agreed, “This shit needs to end. I really don’t even remember who I voted for and I don’t care.”

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Janice Randolph knows just who she didn’t voted for, though.

“I counted all the signs I saw on the way to the polling station, and the mothertrucker with the most… I voted for the other one.”

Reports have also surfaced that a man, distributing papers outside a Tucson, Arizona, polling station with the heading ‘Martin for President – 2016’, was apparently stoned to death. Police have leads, but have decided not to follow them out of respect to his victims.

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12 comments on “Americans Flock to Polls Desperate to End Election Season

  1. Sorry Kilroy, I just report the news not make it, other than that time I was shown in the background in handcuffs. But I swear that was kink and not an actual arrest. I have no further comment.

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