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Americans Flock to Polls Desperate to End Election Season

Americans Flock to Polls Desperate to End Election Season

GlossyNews.com – Exit polls show that while voters split about 50-50 on which candidate they preferr for president, 99.3% agreed that they also voted just to bring an end to the election season.

“Oh, totally,” Miranda Kelly said, “One more day of the ads and I would have been drowning puppies.”

“At this point, I don’t care who wins,” Tom Yerkle agreed, “This shit needs to end. I really don’t even remember who I voted for and I don’t care.”

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Janice Randolph knows just who she didn’t voted for, though.

“I counted all the signs I saw on the way to the polling station, and the mothertrucker with the most… I voted for the other one.”

Reports have also surfaced that a man, distributing papers outside a Tucson, Arizona, polling station with the heading ‘Martin for President – 2016′, was apparently stoned to death. Police have leads, but have decided not to follow them out of respect to his victims.

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This post was written by

- who has written 18 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Sean Myers is a law student whose desire to change things for the better has led him, inevitably, to the world of satire writing.

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12 Responses to “Americans Flock to Polls Desperate to End Election Season”

  1. Mike Kelly says:

    You do have a point. And to think, we are a mere three months from the start of the 2016 campaign.

  2. kilroy says:

    You just harshed my election night buzz there, Mike!

  3. Mike Kelly says:

    Sorry Kilroy, I just report the news not make it, other than that time I was shown in the background in handcuffs. But I swear that was kink and not an actual arrest. I have no further comment.

  4. kilroy says:

    Oh, nuff said!

  5. you are sick!!! Did you take your meds today??? And why were you released?

  6. Sawyer Brown says:

    2016? I thought the world end december 21st of this year.

  7. kilroy says:

    good point. panic now and avoid the rush.

  8. Mike Kelly says:

    I have taken them, I'm just not sure of the dosage right now. Have to speak with the Captain, is he there?

  9. Sawyer Brown says:

    Leslie Howard As of 10:44 est better make good with your deity(ies).

  10. Leslie Howard says:

    the world only ends 12-21 if romney wins

  11. Sawyer Brown says:

    looks like the world is saved from our mayan destroyers!

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