Corpse Still Warm; Ryan 2016 Campaign Underway – Paul Ryan, never one to let an opportunity to flex for a camera or let an opportunity to advance his career pass him by, has been doing more than campaigning for Romney… he’s been campaigning for himself; for 2016.

Paul Ryan is well known for running Marathon races in hours less than he actually did, having body fat much lower than he actually does, and furrowing his brow right up to his Eddy Munster widow’s peak like few others could.

Right: Image appears courtesy of Heather Gillam. Click to enlarge.

And if there’s one thing Paul Ryan has known since he first accepted the vice-presidential nomination, it’s that he has no chance of winning.

Why else would he be still running an aggressive re-election campaign for his congressional seat. Why else would he be posing for PlayGirl in an upcoming issue?

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He knows he’s a rat on a pre-sunken ship, and he’s already on the mooring lines scurrying madly for shore.

Only God can save him, and unfortunately for him, God has voted straight ticket Democratic for the last four elections.

You can search any combination of Ryan2016, PaulRyan2016, RyanVictory2016 and too many more to mention, and you’ll see they’ve all been taken up by shell corporations in shady corners of the globe like Atlanta and also Atlanta.

Clearly Paul Ryan is angling for the Republican nomination in 2016, and he’s unabashed in doing so before the corpse is even warm on the Romney/Ryan campaign. While they haven’t yet failed, as of writing this, they are statistically less-than-favored to come out victors, despite the vote rigging bought and perpetrated by Mitt Romney’s son Lazer Tagg.

At this point, only two things are certain:

1 – Paul Ryan is already assuming his defeat, and angling for an even higher post in 2016 and beyond. And,
2 – There will be some seriously awkward conversations between Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan in the coming days. Nothing quite on the order of the McCain/Palin chats following that humiliating trouncing, but still something one would murder a child to be a fly on the wall of. I’d murder a child.

Author: Dexter Sinistri

Dexter Sinistri is a famously centrist writer who has worked as a Hollywood correspondent for a number of leading publications since 2005. Though once a photographer, Mr. Sinistri struck out as a writer on all things celebrity, and he likes to consider himself a tremendous asset to Glossy News, though by most accounts, he has fallen somewhat short of this effort.

1 thought on “Corpse Still Warm; Ryan 2016 Campaign Underway

  1. Paul Ryan isn't a running mate, he's a self-serving opportunist who saw an outside chance at a shot at greatness, and he took it. He'll just use this to further his own personal ambitions. That's all this is to him. He'll never get close to the whitehouse, but he'll make a mint in speaking fees and book deals.

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