Alternative Valentine’s Day Odes from Trimjay (ED: NSFW!)

ED: Welcome, Trimjay! This is his first post.

Not for the easily offended… I mean like, jussayin.

I’m single this year…

Roses are beautiful,
Often they’re red.
But you’re fat and ugly
And I wish you were dead.

Roses are red
But she’s got hayfever.
She’s an ungrateful bitch
So tomorrow I’ll leave her.

Roses are red,
She’s quite a size.
“I’m sorry to ask, love,
Did you eat ALL the pies?”

Roses are red,
They’re covered in pricks.
Like your recent bukkake
When you sucked all those dicks.

Roses are red.
She is my mother.
World-class inbreeding
When she’s also my brother.

Roses are red.
A quick word of caution:
Today’s not a good time
To suggest an abortion.

Roses are red,
I’m fucking your sister
Because, unlike you,
That slut lets me fist her.

Roses are red,
But a major league rip-off,
So this evening your job’s to try
Sucking my dick off.

Roses are red,
She loved the surprise.
Wait til she finds out
About my STI’s.

Roses are red.
I got these for free.
From the grave of a child
Who died recently.