Tag Archive | "valentine’s day"

4K Glossy News Podcast 030 (2-15-16) The Valentines Day Edition

Despite having my office burglarized and almost all of my production gear stolen, the podcast is back with even more original than ever before.

All of this is available in UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”.

Here are the topics covered in the the February 15th, 2016 4K/UHD podcast. Read the full story


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Wallace’s Swiftian Valentine’s Wishes ;)

These appeared earlier today on my Twitter. My most heartfelt and ‘sincere’ Valentine’s Wishes to all!


I admire Frau Merkel, she’s stronger than Wagner, but her political allies tend to hang out with bankers!

L Ron is my spaceman, will you play with my rocket? I’d give you my heart, but my dynamics are rugged…

P is for Putin, a gorgeous young cadre, I’d have married him yesterday, but I’d ‘rather not’ rather.

Khameini is sexy, can I please stick my plums in? I love them jihadis, but he’s still plucking his chicken ;(

Dave is just splendid, my spiffiest of chums, he likes Tory austerity, not bejaped piggybums!

Tony’s dynamic, I love to pieces, you are bigger than Lennon, more charismatic than Jesus… ?!


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How to Break Up with Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend on Valentine’s Day

So you want to break up on Valentine’s Day?

There isn’t any other day of the year more romantic to break up on than Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day, after all, celebrates St. Valentine, a priest who secretly married lovers in Rome during the reign of the ruthless emperor named Claudius II, who had outlawed marriage in order to better recruit soldiers for his army. Read the full story


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Google Search For ‘Oscar Pistorius Murder Trial’ Evolves Into ‘Reeva Steenkamp Topless’

INDIANAPOLIS – During a routine navigation of the internet Friday, a local man’s Google search for the keywords “Oscar Pistorius murder trial” evolved over the course of 7 minutes into “Reeva Steenkamp Topless.”

Initially looking to gain up-to-the-minute news on the murder trial of South Africa’s famed special Olympian, Indianapolis man James Kinsella subconsciously clicked a related article about Pistorius’ late girlfriend Miss Steenkamp – who the athlete is accused of murdering. Read the full story


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Piece of Folded Card Irreversibly Strengthens Bond Between Wife, Husband

INDIANAPOLIS – Sources reported Thursday that a single piece of folded card – the same paper stock used to package cereal and Lean Cuisine frozen meals -irreversibly strengthened the loving bond between local woman Nancy Hargis and her husband Matthew.

The couple, who had only previously displayed mutual feelings of love through the exchange of wedding vows and through various forms of physical interaction, reportedly became united in eternal solidarity this morning when 32-year-old Mr Hargis surprised his wife with the 6.5-by-5-inch rectangular greeting. Read the full story


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Tip #17: When Planning a Romantic Get-Away, Consider Inviting Your Wife

[Glossy News contributor, Tim Jones, provides a periodic column for Glossy News called The Love Doctor, where he shares his insights on matters of the heart.]

For years people the world over have sought my advice as a foremost authority on matters of the heart. Perhaps it’s because I’m half-German. Or maybe because I got an A- in French in high school – the language of love. I don’t actually have any formalized training in this arena. And I still don’t quite understand position #27 of the Kama Sutra. Read the full story


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Valentine’s Day Condom Heists Puzzle Store Owners

Multiple stores across the nation are just now reporting a significant increase in stolen condoms the week before Valentine’s Day. When asked for comment on the increase in theft, one store owner had this to say:

“I understand the motivation, but I’m not sure the people stealing these condoms completely understand Valentine’s Day. Is it supposed to be romantic. Nothing says ‘I love you’ like sex with a stolen condom.” Read the full story


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Ask Hank – Valentine’s Day Massacre in the Making

Dear Hank,

I need help, and fast. I’m a newlywed, and this will be mine and my new wife’s first Valentine’s Day together, but I don’t have two nickels to rub together to buy my sweetie something nice. It’s my own fault, I’ll admit. Me and a few of my buddies have been working on an old ’89 Ford Escort of mine to get ready for the stock car races that are gonna start in May. We blew the engine last season and we just found one we could re-build and, well, I think you can see where this is headed. Read the full story


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Dear Hank: Sweets for My Sweets Making Them Obese

Dear Hank,

I’ve got a real problem. I’m considering taking a walk down the aisle for the 4th time and I already know how it’s going to end…in divorce. Why? Because I am the one responsible for the merry-go-round that is my marital history.

I know what I’m doing wrong, but I can’t seem to stop myself and I need someone to tell me why I do what I do, and I figured maybe you’d have some answers. Read the full story


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