CIA Warn Freedom-Loving American Public of ‘Sinister, Orwellian Observation of Our Activities’


In case you’ve been living under a rock (or else a hefty-sized boulder in Arizona), Americans have been sounding the alarm about freedom, liberty and democracy for quite some time! From Thomas Sowell to Amy Goodman, from Glenn Greenwald to Justin Raimondo, most people believe that something is very wrong in America. But what?! Well…

It just so happens that the CIA are finally here to dispel your fears.

FOREVER.

And yet… given all the deliberate lies told in the not-so-non-dishonest fake news media (did we get it right?!), you might be surprised to learn that the CIA are actually a widely misunderstood and unjustly defamed band of All True and Authentic, Liberty-Loving American Patriots (TM).

No matter what evil, unpatriotic, unprincipled conspiracy theorists tell you, the CIA are not what ya think!

Indeed, the CIA, or Central Intelligence Agency, are actually widely renowned for:

Their Absolute Centrality

To certain agendas or causes more than others, presumably.

Their Planet-Sized Intelligence

Relatively speaking; some more so than others, some might say!

But it ain’t gonna be us…

And Agency…

Which apparently has something to do with doing whatever the hell you want and fuck the consequences!

Kinda like Chuck Norris.

That aside, it turns out that the real problem with American democracy is this:

A sinister, conspiratorial culture of surveillance and snooping.

Our carefully imagined, er, CHOSEN!… anonymous source from the intelligence community tell us:

Privacy is a fundamental right guaranteed by the Fourth Amendment of the US constitution.

Sad to say, however, this right is under siege by a small, tightly-banded horde of self-seeking elitists and cliquey traitors who are poisoning our body politic with their snooping, and stoking up a climate of fear and uncertainty, which can only succeed in playing into the hands of the enemies of America and indeed of civilisation itself; both within, and without.

The behaviour of The Intercept, Antiwar, Counterpunch, Democracy Now and other sinister, Orwellian cliques and cabals is extremely disturbing.

Nobody knows how much money is being funnelled through these creepy, untransparent and fundamentally unaccountable organisations.

Regardless, it goes without saying that there is an extraordinary sense of entitlement and arrogance here, not to mention a complete and utter lack of civic spirit and patriotism.

They dishonestly and deceptively present themselves as staunch all American patriots who, far from being meddling, deceitful and disloyal traitors, are actually standing up for the true meaning of American freedom and democracy, and saving civilisation from the horde of despicable rogue elements who want to sap away and corrode it from within.

There is not a single moment of the day when true American patriots are not being watched.

We are under surveillance night and day.

We, the true all American freedom lovers of the CIA, must be freed from the yoke of all this unaccountable and unconscionable surveillance and snooping.

All legimate and authentic defenders of American liberty must stand with us in our brave and noble fight against these sinister, omnimonitoring creeps, these pestiferous stalkers, these despicable sub-human snoopers!

It’s time to take the indymedia, and scatter it to the four winds!

 

Do YOU stand with our INTELLIGENCE COMMUNITY?

Please share this story, and show all your righteous indignation outrage against all these despicable snoopers and surveyors who are trying to undermine the CIA!

All true Americans THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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