Breaking News: Woman Claims Trump Didn’t Grope Her

A woman from Broken Springs, Michigan has come forward to insist that Donald Trump has not groped her, despite many opportunities to do so. Allison McGregor, a 47-year-old housekeeper who used to work at Trump’s Mar-o Lago hotel/resort in Florida, told Fox News today that the real estate broker used to visit the hotel at least once a week and on exactly zero occasions did he sexually assault her.

McGregor, who has been a housekeeper since the age of 16, decided to come forward after several other women have alleged that Trump sexually assaulted them in the past.

“He never kissed me. Never groped me. Never grabbed my ass. He would barely give me a second glance, to be honest. He was the perfect gentleman around me. He wouldn’t even swat a mosquito off me. Once even when I sprained my ankle while scrubbing out of a shower, he wouldn’t even help me off the floor.”

“Once he even almost walked in on me in the dressing room. At the first sight of my pantyhose, he turned around so fast I thought he was going to get dizzy. He couldn’t find the door fast enough,” continued McGregor.

She said she didn’t believe Trump’s accusers because, “If he was really a sexual predator, why didn’t he try anything with me? It doesn’t make any sense.”

When asked if she plans to vote for her former boss, McGregor said she wasn’t sure if she’s registered but if she could, she would because she trusts him to make America great again.

Author: Jenny Corvette

Jenny Corvette is the pen name of Jennifer Gardner, a freelance writer living in Southwest Michigan. She has been nearly arrested and sued over her satirical writing about her local hick town. In her free time, she plays pool, volunteers with political campaigns, and paints Spray Paint Art, all of the proceeds benefiting animal causes. She can be found on facebook at http://facebook.com/jennycorvette