Hillary Clinton To Make Direct Appeal To Less-Educated, White, Male Voters

In the final run-up to the US presidential elections, Hillary Clinton is hoping to ensure victory by winning-over the one demographic group that Donald Trump has yet failed to insult or alienate.

That group consists of white American men without a college degree. Much of the threat posed by Donald Trump comes from this group who represented nearly half of all voters in 2012.

A draft transcript of Clinton’s forthcoming speech has been obtained by this site and is reproduced below:

Today, I want to speak to a very important section of our society. I want to address those whose hard work and self-sacrifice made America the great country it is today.

I’m referring, of course, to you uneducated, white guys.

I want you all to put down those cans of beer, burgers and bottles of mayonnaise and listen to me for five minutes before you next go out to buy meth or shoot someone.

The future of America is in your hands, and I believe that you all need to take that responsibility very seriously.

I want you to think for a minute about the demographic – that’s a big word that means the group in society – to which you belong. You are uneducated white males. The clue’s in the name.

It might not be your fault that you’re not so smart. Maybe inbreeding or other factors mean you didn’t start out very bright. It’s the way things have turned out, however, and it would be as crazy to deny that as it would be to deny you are fellow Americans.

I’m not saying you’re not wonderful, hardworking guys. Our great country would collapse tomorrow if it wasn’t for all the unskilled, menial jobs you do. I want you to imagine, however, that you needed brain surgery. Would you ask a buddy to do it or would you try to find an educated doctor? If you were taking a plane, would you want an educated pilot to fly it or would you be happy for Homer Simpson to give it a go?

I’m willing to bet that, after you’d thought as hard as you could about it, at least half of you would want your brain surgeon or pilot to be educated, even if your buddy would do the job for a pack of beers.

I want those of you who would choose an educated brain surgeon or pilot to now ask yourselves why you would make that choice.

Would it be because an educated brain surgeon or pilot would know what they were doing? Maybe you think you’d have a better chance of surviving the operation or the flight.

Voting for a president is like doing brain surgery or flying that plane. There are a lot of complicated things to think about when you’re a president, and working out who could do the job best is really hard.

I’m appealing to all you uneducated white guys not to vote on November 8.

If a loved one needed that brain surgery, you’d owe it to them to get the very best surgeon. Each of you really know, deep in your hearts, that you wouldn’t be clever enough to be certain of picking the right person.

It’s just the same with this great land we all love. You owe it to your kids, your family, this wonderful country and the world, to not even try thinking about picking a president.

I say again to you all: “don’t vote”. Leave big choices to those with better brains.

America needs you to just stay in bed, watch TV and have another beer on November 8.

You know it’s the right thing to do.

You know, deep down, that it’s what God wants you to do.

Thank you.

God bless America.

God bless America.

Author: Swan Morrison

Swan Morrison is the pen name of Brian Huggett. Brian lives with his wife and a cat named Blackie in Hampshire, England. He has been publishing work on the Internet and in print since 2001. In 2006, he created the Short Humour Site at http://www.short-humour.org.uk for comedy writing of around 500 words. He has published three books of his own Short Humour - each containing one hundred stories, dialogues, poems, letters, spoof news reports, articles and songs. These books are called: A Man of Few Words, A Man of a Few More Words, A Man of Yet a Few More Words. In addition, ten comic songs which were published in A Man of a Few More Words are also available in The Swan Morrison Songbook. Swan published his first novel, Judgement Day, in September 2014 and a novella, Deep Black, in September 2015. He is currently working on the sequel to Judgement Day called Until the End of Time. In addition to his own writing, Swan Morrison has published five other books - each of which contains Short Humour by fifty different contributors to the Short Humour Site. These books are called: People of Few Words, People of Few Words - Volume 2, People of Few Words - Volume 3, People of Few Words - Volume 4, People of Few Words - Volume 5. All profits from the writings of Swan Morrison are currently donated to the UK registered charity supported by the Short Humour Site Site, Friends of Teso (Uganda) - http://www.friends-of-teso-uganda.org.uk/.