Posted on 25 August 2014.
Senator Rand Paul and Reverend Al Sharpton have shown some interparty solidarity and cut up a blueberry pie™ into equal slices at a dialogue and lunch event.
Hey listen, this man Senator Rand Paul is great!
gushes Reverend Al:
I mean, I haven’t seen such mutual engagement and co-operation for a long time!
Well, not since the US State Department got to working with Jabhat-al-Nusra and ISIS to bring down President Assad, anyhow!
Well, let me tell you something, we can work with this man alright! And that blueberry pie; oh my gosh, I’ve never had such succulent blue-sky-colored berries and crusty pastry… wow!
Mmm-hm! Wow! You said, ‘Reverend Al, where’s our blueberry pie?’ Let me tell you something, my friend; the blueberry pie’s right here!
Mmm! Sorry about that! But yeah, I mean, this Senator is cooking up something really special!
Senator Paul is also buoyant:
Reverend Al is not only a hero of the Civil Rights Movement, but from this day forward, I am deeply honored to call him a friend.
I mean, this is just so exciting. I’ve never had a black friend of color before!
But listen carefully. Reverend Al, this good buddy of mine, he just seems like a normal, regular guy…
You know, like all the straight, male, white guys at the GOP I normally hang around with!
Now listen up, everybody. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that black people are bad folks.
I mean, hell, we need as many votes from the African American community as we can get!
Yeah, I mean, racism just doesn’t make sense, where we are now, the modern world, 2015…
Leading up to 2016! I mean, I couldn’t possibly justify our alienating any more black voters!
So yeah, we’re gonna have to have some more dialogue meetings like this.
And more: I promise you this Al, next time, you will have your chance to speak, as much as anyone else!
Hm. Um, Al. I kinda think you and your friends have had enough. D’you mind letting me have the rest of this stuff?
I mean, this was all a good idea, but I don’t want to take it too far.
Yeah, let’s not go overboard here. Fair’s fair!
But others in both the Republic and Democratic Parties (surprisingly) are skeptical. Rick Perry says:
I don’t think all those greedy Democrats™ at this shallow publicity stunt™ deserved such a ridiculously large slice of pie. They have contributed very little to this country. All this talk about cutting up the pie™, I’m sick of it! Déjà vu city!
Hillary Clinton is unimpressed too:
So… let me get this straight. I know it sounds like I’m repeating myself time and time again, but Reverend Al has a lifetime’s experience of™ pastoral work, preaching, providing spiritual counseling, and plenty of civil activism. What does Rand Paul have™?
Yes, what does Rand Paul have? Just one insignificant little picture of him, stuffing his face with a DESSERT! He won’t succeed! There’s just no way on earth this man deserves to be President!