NEW YORK (GlossyNews) — In a scene guaranteed to blow the stacks off the rabid Right, who insist no religion except Christianity should be worshiped within a 12,000 mile radius of Ground Zero, a herd of sub-quattro even-toed ungulates were spotted grazing around Ground Zero today. They were apparently oblivious to the brouhaha surrounding the proposed Islamic cultural center to be located within blocks of the historic site. Read the full story

Cave Town, Pakistan (GlossyNews) — Al Queda has brought their ‘El Cid’ out into the fresh air again to renew belief in their cause and to yank the West’s chain. According to news sources Usama bin Laden has made a new video praising the Nigerian who tried to take down a US airplane with flaming underpants. The only problem with the whole schtick is that Usama is a has-bin Laden. He ain’t no more. Read the full story

LONDON, U.K. (GlossyNews) — Elton John, no stranger to controversy, made news again this week when he called Jesus of Nazareth gay in an interview with Parade Magazine. The statement angered many practicing Christians around the world. Catholic League President Bill Donohue said John’s claim implies that “the Messiah was a person who preached water and drank wine.” But Donohue also commented that it would be pointless to ask for an apology. Read the full story