Tag Archive | "international relations"

One Act Tumblr Play: Obama Gets Friendzoned!


It’s always fun to write a One Act Tumblr Play; that particular social media site is perfect for this kind of writing! Here’s one of mine:

Obama: Hey, I really like that country, but I’m not gonna do the running. Let her come to me first.

Heh heh… I’m just such a smart guy! I am just one DAMN SMART COOKIE! Well, it’s not up to me to chase her. I’m gonna let her see how much she needs me first.

WAITS

WAITS

WAITS

WAITS

[Tittering and snickering in the background]

Obama: … Oh. Shit. Well. What a prissy, stuck-up bitch! Guess she just doesn’t know what she’s missing.

Read the full story

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Posted in Internets Tubes, World NewsComments (0)

Sarko in China: “Monsieur Jinping, Break Down This Wall!”


Nicolas Sarkozy is universally renowned and respected as the man who single-handedly brought down the Berlin Wall, restored the constitutional liberties and privileges of “La République,” and ended forever the reign of jihadist terror in the entire “monde non civilisée.”

But his aura is slipping somewhat. France’s most genial, witty, charismatic, and talented “notable public figure” has upset the government of a leading nation.

Admittedly, as the Chinese Communist Party is not a straight-vanilla late-capitalist White Anglo Saxon corporatist legislative entity like France… Read the full story

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Khameini Frustrated: Putin Still Friendzoning Ayatollah (1/2) (NSFW)


Some would say that The Enemies Of Our Glorious Nation™ are quarrelsome folk.

(Or if not “enemies of America,” at least the enemies of the non-satire news media and of The International Beltway Community).

Still, there is such a thing as honor among thieves; or if not honor among thieves, at least honor among “Recalcitrationists Of The Universal Interest.” Read the full story

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Posted in Politics, ReligionismComments (0)

Obama/Bush’s 1000-fold Expansion of “International Community” Statelets (1/2)


Malicious and insidious recalcitrationalists from Glossynews and other disreputable non-Fox/-MSBC media outlets have been ignorantly and brutally ridiculing The Universal Interest.

And it’s purely on these grounds, and not on account of any cynical or disingenuous motivation whatsoever…

That President Obama has held a press conference in Arkansas, in order to prove the general greater-goody-goodiness of The Greater Good, and the hyper-monopolistic “Ourness” of “Our Common Humanity.” Read the full story

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Posted in Politics, War ZoneComments (0)

Entire International Community Fits/Meets Inside Tiny Beltway Café


Recently, the entire International Community™ met together in a miniscule Beltway Café in Washington.

Obviously, this vast group agreed unanimously and without exception concerning all the Matters of Grave Common Concern™ that are of importance to Our Common Humanity..™

And, needless to say, they conclusively resolved all of the pressing issues that are of crucial importance to sustaining our current and eternal Flourishing, Democratic Global Order of Mutual Prosperity™.

Still, the café owner was initially wary of this most inestimable privilege Read the full story

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National Front Thugs Horrified: Hitler a “Dirty Foreign [Insert Profanity Here]”


Most Americans have probably heard of the Front National in France, but not all US citizens may be aware of her somewhat less sophisticated and elegant sister party, the UK’s National Front.

But admittedly, this club of assorted knuckledraggers, boneheads and goosestepping eagle-polishers is so “edgy,” so far off the mainstream political establishment™, that it hardly picks up any votes.

Yes, the NF’s voting tally (not sure about tallywhackers, though) are consistently dwarfed even by the sum of protest votes garnered by fellow neo-fascists, the British National Party. Similarly, their fellow socialists, the Greens, tend to do “better” than the National Front in elections. Read the full story

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British Prime Minister Apparently Not Tony Blair Anymore, Nation Finds


WASHINGTON D.C. – During a joint televised address designed to highlight the special relationship between the United States and Great Britain Wednesday, it was revealed to the American public that the Prime Minister of The United Kingdom is not, in fact, Tony Blair anymore.

Standing alongside President Obama on the White House lawn, the largely unrecognizable figure of “David Cameron” talked at length about the coordinated American/British strategy in Afghanistan, as viewers at home tried to work out what the heck happened to “that Blair guy.” Read the full story

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Posted in Politics, World NewsComments (2)

ABC’s “The Taste” Signs Starving Ethiopian Child as Season 2 Judge


LOS ANGELES — Following Tuesday’s season one finale, producers of the ABC reality cooking show The Taste announced yesterday that they have finished a deal to replace Celebrity Chef Ludo Lefebvre on the judging panel next season with Random Starving Ethiopian Child “Umbeke.”

The move – which experts say should significantly increase the show’s ratings – will give the panel a broader range of tastes since Umbeke, according to producers, “will gobble down the weirder shit that even Bourdain won’t touch.” Read the full story

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Posted in TelevisionComments (1)

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Aretha Sang It, Obama Shows It


For all you can say for or against Barack Obama as President, there is one huge thing can be said in his favor. He has returned a forgotten key ingredient of crucial diplomatic etiquette to the forefront and that is RESPECT (say it loud just like Aretha Franklin did).

The idea of respect, (or, if that is too much to ask, then at least its little brother REGARD) has been trounced and forgotten in recent decades and even ridiculed. Read the full story

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Posted in Serious CommentaryComments (3)

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