Tag Archive | "green"

Power Wheels Offer Green Solution


NEW YORK- Mattel, parent company of the popular toy brand Power Wheels, has announced their bid in to the economic future of this country. They have announced a partnership with the Ford Motor Company to begin selling Power Wheels on their car lots. Read the full story

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Unseasonably Warm Weather A Reminder Man Didn’t Recycle Bottles Last Month


INDIANAPOLIS – A recent spate of unseasonably warm weather, which has seen December temperatures peak in the mid sixties, has acted as a timely reminder that local man Dennis Kowalski never got around to recycling those damn bottles last month.

Though he routinely separates his trash into paper, glass, and general waste, the 34-year-old – reportedly overwhelmed by last month’s Thanksgiving – admits that he may have accidentally lumped everything together in the same garbage bag(s). Read the full story

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Bottled Water Making Its Way to Alaska- Like Taking Mountains to Mohammed


Bottled water- who could ever, outside of professional con men such as P.T. Barnum and Soapy Smith, would ever have thought that it would be possible to put water in a bottle and actually get someone to buy it, except, perhaps nomads crossing the Sahara (they, however, did not have bottles until recently and even those are bleached out ones that have floated across the Mediterranean from Spain.

They did have goat skin bags, but these tended to make the water taste gamey and therefore hard to sell). Read the full story

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British Petroleum Celebrates Earth Day with Huge Oil Spill


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GM Introducing Biodegradable Cars


Detroit, Mich. (GlossyNews): General Motors Corporation announced today the release of a line of high-tech vehicles designed to meet the demands of environmentally conscious consumers, as well as the new federal green-technologies regulations. According to a company spokesman, “The new biodegradable car, made entirely of remaindered Crocs, will return GM to international prominence as a leader in innovative automobile technologies, and position the company for increased market share in both the international and domestic markets.” Read the full story

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Yes, Virginia, There is Global Warming


“DEAR EDITOR: I am 48 years old.
“Some of my conservative friends say there is no Global Warming.
“The UN says, ‘If you see it in a peer reviewed journal it’s so.’
“Please tell me the truth; is there Global Warming?

“VIRGINIA O’HANLON.
“115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET.”

VIRGINIA, your conservative friends are wrong.  They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. Read the full story

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PA Prudes Ignore Carbon Footprint


Wanksie, Pennsylvania (Dingbat News) – Chlamydia Muffrot, a 94-year old grandmother, was tasered and handcuffed, then charged with ‘domestic terrorism’ by brain-dead Homeland Security goons for pegging out her laundry on a clothesline strung between trees outside her 18th Century trailer park home in Redneck Hamlets. Read the full story

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Recycling Rules: Bin Bureaucracy


UK householders could be fined millions of pounds and face up to five years in one of Her Majesty’s overcrowded ‘sodomite paradise’ prisons if they throw food scraps and potato peelings into their wheelie bins under the EU’s draconic new ‘zero waste’ policy.

Residents will be henceforth forced to sift through their rubbish for anything that can be recycled, reused, rotted, burnt for electricity, given to Oxfam, sold at a car boot or advertised on eBay. Read the full story

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Miliband the Millipede Promises Green Jobs For All


One of Britain’s biggest employers in the green energy industry is to cease production within hours of a paradoxical government announcement today pledging as many as 400,000 green jobs by 2015. Read the full story

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Welcome to the EU’s New Dark Ages


Under the latest stupid EU ruling the manufacture and import of 100 watt incandescent light bulbs in Britain will be banned in favour of the CFL energy-saving variety – by which you can’t see to read – or write – brush your hair, wipe your arse, tie your shoe laces or shave without cutting your own throat. Read the full story

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Posted in Environment, Gadgets & GizmosComments (0)

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