Tag Archive | "addiction"

Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s Publicist Says Death’s Timing “Unlucky”


An impromptu poll in Variety Magazine Online has voted actor Phillip Seymour Hoffman “Unluckiest Person in the World” after dying of a heroin overdose on Superbowl Sunday.

Hoffman, best known for his work in “Boogie Nights” and Oscar winning performance “Capote” was found dead early Sunday morning in his Greenwich residence with a heroin needle sticking out of his arm.

Agents and public relations managers consider it an albatross to die on a busy media day as the conflicting news attractions draw attention away from the celebrities death. The Super Bowl is considered the perfect storm black hole of media diversions. Read the full story

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Cat-Rehab Clinics Sprouting Up Around the Nation (comic)


Addiction is no laughing matter. I tried to get high with my cat the other day, but the Nip we bought was apparently bunk, since it did nothing but give me a bit of a headache. Then I look over, and he’s saaaaailing. Guess it half-worked.

But what happens when Snuggums takes one hit too many? What happens when he goes from adorable, goofy furball rolling on the carpet, to evil, addicted killing machine? Read the full story

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Gosh, This Cocaine Sure Smells Amazing (comic)


Know how some things just smell fantastic? Roses, fresh tennis balls, your own farts? It’s all the same, but for this guy, he just really loves the smell of cocaine, and as he huffs it up gram-by-gram, he continues to learn a new appreciation for it.

If you don’t know what cocaine smells like, you should cut yourself off a line, harf it up, and tell me it’s not the sweetest burn of back-of-head-burning-aspirin you’ve ever had the pleasure of… let’s crank up some music! Read the full story

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Tea is Gateway Drug to Coffee


New research has found that Tea, a drug which contains caffeine and can also effect the cannabiniod receptors and is popular with both the English and Chinese, can lead to harder drugs like Filter Coffee, Lattes and Espressos.

Research carried out by the charity Teaholics Anonymous (TA) questioned more than 4000 users or recovering addicts from 4 separate countries. Read the full story

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Michaele Salahi Snorts Smack n’ Crack to Get Back on Celebrity Rehab


Michaele Salahi was recently kicked off the reality show Celebrity Rehab due to the fact that she couldn’t produce a discernable addiction. Now, her husband Tareq has threatened to sue if they don’t take her back.

The Salahis claim that Michaele is probably more messed up than anyone on the show, but not having a visible addiction or affliction is keeping her from being able to participate in the rehabilitation program. Read the full story

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Facebook Addiction Survivors Found Adrift in Cyberspace


RESTSTOP, Info Superhighway (GlossyNews) — A group of Facebook addiction survivors was found floating in cyberspace last night, clinging to the remnants of a past life spent ogling other people’s lives from the comfort of their home or office. The tattered and torn pride of Linda Deetle, Marvin Locke, Jennifer Pezelridge and four others, who pulled the plug on Facebook within the last week, was evident when Tawdry Soup caught up with the trio.

“I was lonely,” cried Deetle, a 47 year old widow, Read the full story

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Possible Cause for Marijuana Addiction Discovered


LONDON (GlossyNews) — In groundbreaking new research, scientists at world-renowned Oxford University in Oxford, England have discovered that patchouli oil may cause marijuana addiction.

Extensive studies have been conducted over the past twelve years linking the use of the semi-popular fragrance to that of marijuana smoking. In order to complete the experiment, scientists and volunteers have been encouraged to bring in anyone off of the street who smells like patchouli. Read the full story

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Tiger Woods No Longer Wants Sex


Number One golfer Tiger Woods, and the doctors treating him for sex addiction, claim he has made a complete recovery and no longer has any desire for sex at all.

Woods admitted himself into a sex rehab center in Hattiesburg, Mississippi after admitting to enjoying sex with no fewer than 100 women in the course of one year. After intensive therapy he no longer craves sex at all and hopes he never has sex again.

“Sex is icky and scary”, Woods told reporters. “I hope I never do that to myself again!” Read the full story

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