Categorized | Education, Strange People

Privileged Latte Liberal Ends Up Hating on Legitimate Asylum Seekers (2/2)

Privileged Latte Liberal Ends Up Hating on Legitimate Asylum Seekers (2/2)

Last time, I brought you a disturbing tale of a pompous campus intellectual who did more harm than good when presuming to speak for asylum seekers.

Unfortunately, I have even more evidence to show that not only does he not avoid misogyny when talking about the Cologne rapes…

He doesn’t even avoid racism, cultural stereotyping or smearing and sweepingly dehumanizing ALL asylum seekers either, by disingenuously characterizing them as ‘culturally diverse’ rapists..

Instead of as individuals who all have different characters, personalities, and points of view.

Like, OMG! Surely not! Can you but IMAGINE…!!!!!!!!!!!!


 Women should be free to celebrate however they like on New Year’s Eve.

Oh, here we go! This shit is barely even worth refuting. Look, you may talk about ‘freedom of dancing, freedom of singing, freedom of whatever,’ but let me tell you something, you hateful bigot.

Freedom of speech demands accountability; hate speech isn’t freedom of speech. By definition! So, by that very logic, freedom of gallivanting around also demands accountability.

Let’s be honest. You can easily tell that these women were acting in an extremely hateful and vicious manner, by callously insulting the delicate erotic scruples of these men, with their provocative and flirtatious behaviour. Don’t they know that men from the countries in question are raised to be modest, and to expect modesty from their women?

Now, yes, I know that you are going to say: ‘But plenty of Muslims favour more open relations between the genders.’ Some of you will even accuse me of stereotyping.

But guess what? You are the person stereotyping the Muslim community, with your Eurocentric nonsense about ‘liberal, progressive attitudes.’

Don’t you realise how Orientalist you sound when you claim all Muslims are the same?

By the way, because I’m generous, and my heart is ever aching and bleeding for social justice and universal emancipation, I have just got rid of another racist right-wing fallacy for you:

Some Muslims don’t buy in to all this chastity and modesty bollocks.

 Still, let me try and think of another one. I’m really good at this, and I’m not normally short of words, so let’s see what happens!

 There is ‘no excuse’ for ‘rape.’

If you condemn asylum seekers for rape, why don’t you condemn all rapists? Oh, you do, do you? OK, name me some rapists who tick some different identity boxes…

No no, I want names, not vague references to incidents and places.

Oh, is that the best you can do? Well, clearly, you are very selective in your condemnation of rapists.

I mean, to be fair, I don’t know the names of any of the people accused of rape in Cologne either; but then, that’s the difference between you and me, isn’t it!

(Nope! I’m not going to explain what I mean by that. If you don’t know what distinguishes a true radical ‘authentic left’ social justice and anti-capitalist activist from an opportunistic, cynical, hidebound bigoted imbecile, then it’s not really my job to educate you, is it?)

Well actually, it probably is my job to educate you, but that’s how I roll. Anyway, all this ‘no excuse’ business. Have you any idea what these frightened young men had gone through before they reached Germany? Cold, alone, afraid. I feel really, really, sincerely sorry for them, from whatever the bottom of my heart can muster, such as it is; and that’s argument enough for me!

And needless to say, it should be argument enough for you too…

Well, if you dare judge these men for being ‘rapists,’ why don’t you try walking a mile in their shoes?

I mean, if you can’t empathise with an asylum seeker that responded out of quite understandable fear and fury towards some racist, far-right German fanatics, and who who got a bit carried away one night merely because he didn’t understand ‘our’ cultural and gender norms, and who is now being maliciously and opportunistically accused of being a ‘rapist’ (whatever the hell that one’s supposed to mean)…

Well, who can you sympathise with?

Let’s not forget who the real victims are in all of this. It’s not the red-top hate rags. It’s not the whining, strident secularist intellectuals.

And most of all, it’s certainly not the arrogant, ethnocentric provocateurs from the other night.

(A few nights back, don’t know exactly, but let’s not get hung up on pedantic details!)

No. The rapists are the real victims of Cologne. Let’s all remember that, before we arrogantly jab ‘our’ lilywhite, racially privileged fingers in the directions of these poor, poor miserable people, who have suffered so much at the hand of faux-feminist, Islamophobic, racially insensitive, cultural imperialist bigots.

End it now! No more victim blaming! Time for some planet-sized douchebaggery, erm, hashtaggery!

Um, OK, maybe this’ll do:



Originally published on Satire World.


This post was written by

- who has written 357 posts on

Conspirator-in-Chief of the Peace Criminals Project: Neocon Surveillance& Satirical-Industrial Complex! Also published on a range of satire sites. Currently co-editing Glossy News (under the webmaster, Brian K. White). Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! David Cameron says I am a #TerroristSympathizer. Islamists say I am an #Islamophobe. New Atheists think I am a #CravenApologistForPrimitiveBronzeAgeSuperstitions. MRAs & Alt-Right think I'm a #MatriarchalCuck. Others say I'm a #StraightMiddleClassWhiteBoy. And still more think I'm a #FuckingPleb. Just another edgy day at the Satirist's office! I am the Mayor of the Zero Fucks Community ;) @w_runnymede (Twitter)


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