Categorized | Education, Strange People

Privileged Latte Liberal Ends Up Hating on Legitimate Asylum Seekers (1/2)

Privileged Latte Liberal Ends Up Hating on Legitimate Asylum Seekers (1/2)

The thing about the postmodernist social justice left is that they often harm the very people they claim to be helping.

The following story is about a (not so?) well meaning middle class latte liberal who wants to stand up for asylum seekers, and ends up smearing them, patronizing them, and making them all guilty with association with the bad guys.

Talk about…

Acceptable Orientalism?!


Lyndon B. C. Neville, notable  undergraduate student activist of the Islington Intellectual Day-Care Centre Scientific Liberation and Post-Scientific Fashionable Claptrap Think Tank (IIDCCSLAPSFCTT for short!) has recently unleashed a fiery polemic denouncing the ‘creeping feminists,’ ‘creeping anti-rape apologists,’ and ‘Islamophobic bigots’ (insofar as there’s a difference!) who are currently singling out the so-called ‘rapists’ of Cologne.

Who are the Real Victims Here?

Normally I am fairly centrist, but as I have had the good fortune recently to spy a good window of opportunity for my social justice and scientific socialism credentials, I am putting on my far-left hat today. I must warn the newspaper-reading community of a very near and pressing peril.

That’s right! Racist, neocon, white supremacist, mainstream neoliberal capitalist media bigots are making purely opportunistic and politically motivated criticisms of the so-called ‘rapists’ of Cologne.

The latter vile red-top tabloid slur, ‘rapist’ has nothing whatsoever to do with so-called ‘women’s rights,’ and everything to do with Capitalist-Anglo-Patriarchal-Neoliberal-Racism. You simply cannot disingenuously support the bourgeois anarchistic notion of women’s rights as a feeble pretext for labeling the fearful, anxious, persecuted asylum seekers of Cologne as ‘rapists.’

After all, if you really cared about women’s rights, why the hell would you talk that way? Women’s rights are not an end in itself; only a means to an end. For, we are all in this together, and the liberation of one means the liberation of all. Labeling people as ‘rapists’ for purely cynical and opportunistic motives is divisive, strident, and quite frankly, a hysterically disproportionate and unjust response to a minor inconvenience. If that’s not ‘creeping feminism,’ then I have no idea what creeping feminism would actually look like!

(No, I know you don’t know either, but that’s a completely different manner, isn’t it! If you don’t know, then it’s out of your right-wing ignorance and bigotry. Just go and read the Express, chum! These radical words are beyond you. But if I don’t know, it’s because I am genuinely bewildered and outraged, and somehow just utterly caught up in the moment. You do know the difference, right?)

But really, at the end of the day, what do you expect? The racist tabloids simply can’t get these stupid racial stereotypes out of their heads. ‘If someone is an asylum seeker, they must be a potential rapist.’ This is absolute literal cultural imperialism in its purest form.

Do you actually know what languages the asylum seekers are speaking?

Do those languages even have a word for rape?

How would we even know, anyway?

Who decides?

For if, as we all know and agree, rape is always-already social constructed, then how does it even make any sense to accuse someone else from ‘another culture’ of rape, if there isn’t even a word corresponding with the notion in their own language?

And isn’t that kind of ethnocentric and moralistic imposition of a foreign way of thinking itself a racist notion?

Why should anyone have to be subjected to anyone else’s purely historically contingent and socially constructed preconceptions of ‘acceptable gendered behaviour?’ There is no excuse whatsoever for imposing your vision of acceptable male or female behaviour on these men. They are the real victims.

Still, I’m going to explode some bigoted far-right fallacies, so we can all see who the real victims are.

Good luck with that one, son! Find out next time what this over-privileged cafeteria liberator is going to say.


Originally published on Satire World.


This post was written by

- who has written 357 posts on

Conspirator-in-Chief of the Peace Criminals Project: Neocon Surveillance& Satirical-Industrial Complex! Also published on a range of satire sites. Currently co-editing Glossy News (under the webmaster, Brian K. White). Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! David Cameron says I am a #TerroristSympathizer. Islamists say I am an #Islamophobe. New Atheists think I am a #CravenApologistForPrimitiveBronzeAgeSuperstitions. MRAs & Alt-Right think I'm a #MatriarchalCuck. Others say I'm a #StraightMiddleClassWhiteBoy. And still more think I'm a #FuckingPleb. Just another edgy day at the Satirist's office! I am the Mayor of the Zero Fucks Community ;) @w_runnymede (Twitter)


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