George Bush Senior Apologizes for Not Touching as Many Women as Bill Clinton

Shrivelled Wall Street Walnut and former Warmonger-in-Chief George Bush Senior has recently issued a third sexual harassment apology.

The first one was in relation to his alleged grope of Heather Lind.The second one was an apology for the fact that all those strident harpies got offended by his first apology.

The third one, however, is a little more tricky.

Grinning ear to ear, the father of Dubya slyly winked and groaned:

To those who were offended by my lack of action on the ass-grabbing front, I apologise with about as much sincerity as you have ever seen at any one of my Iraq War press conferences.

Or indeed any of the ones my son gave; now isn’t he a handsome fellow!

Heh heh heh…


I am very pleased that the gorgeous, fine young women of our day have been so gracious to a bumbling old dotard like me…

A ‘dotard,’ as Kim Kardashian calls me.

[PRO TIP, GEORGE: Don’t get these two Kims mixed up].

The assembled crowd of idiotic establishment doorstops cooed and squealed with delight, to see the cutesy old grandfatherly figure affect a semi-senile geniality and innocence.

Later, as Dubya wheeled him off, Big Daddy’s face harded into a cynical snarl, as he snorted:

These stupid idiots fall for this crap every time.

Gotta play cutesy and dumb all the time, and then you can do whatever the hell you want. Like taking candy from a baby.

Junior boy smirked in turn:

Yeah, how stupid are these people? I used to try this crap all the time, and it paid off didn’t it!


The two disresputable figures then disappeared into the low and ominous Texas sunset.

Image attribution:

By Joseph Lozada. – U.S. Department of Defense [1], Public Domain, Link

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!