Are you sick and tired of being accused of being a mainstream, heterobourgeois square?
Do your most authentic Komrads laugh at you?
Do they think you are too well dressed, and have no instinctive sense of rugged Northern rough trade Nouveau-Staliniste Manliness?
Does your mainstream-married same-sex spouse think you have more money than emancipated proletarian class-consciousness?
Try Fully Emancipated Gay Socialist Proletarian Stalinism!
Fully Emancipated Gay Socialist Proletarian Stalinism has everything you need to help you cultivate an ideologically orthodox and half-way-practically-successful revolutionary lifestyle, up to and including:
A two day labor week, so you have plenty of extra time to go down to the club and educate all your friends on the glories of Fully Emancipated Gay Socialist Proletarian Stalinism!
State-of-the-art cutting-edge mini-tablets from North Korea, so you can spend half the night up on your State-of-the-art cutting-edge mini-tablets from North Korea, educating bourgeois Twitter trolls on the error of their ways, and instructing them on the necessity and final inevitability of Fully Emancipated Gay Socialist Proletarian Stalinism!
Extra “Fully Emancipated Gay Socialist Proletarian Stalinism” Enlightened Proletarian Consciousness Karma Points from your most ideologically correct brethren and Komrads! Did you know that if getting lynched, beheaded or having acid thrown in your face is not edgy enough, you always can be a Fully Emancipated Gay Socialist Proletarian Stalinist instead?
Oh, and contact us within 24 hours, and get a free holiday to Siberia!
Don’t be stuck in the trap of mainstream, dull, late capitalist neoliberal heterobourgeois ideological deviations; become a Fully Emancipated Gay Socialist Proletarian Stalinist instead!
This is hilarious!
GAY FUCKIN’ COMMUNISTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fully Emancipated Gay Socialist Proletarian Stalinism is not to be confused with feeble mainstream boozhee imitators such as Gay Neoliberal Crypto-Stalinism, Bourgeois LGBT Zioliberalism, Quasi-Neoliberal Meta-Trans Vegan-Supremacism, Jewish White Nationalism, Islamic Neoconservatism, Black Humanitarian Interventionism, Autistic Eugenicists, Salafi Turkey Yuletide Decriminalization Activism, and other fake and worthless products commonly mistaken for Fully Emancipated Gay Socialist Proletarian Stalinism.
Become a Fully Emancipated Gay Socialist Proletarian Stalinist today, and keep mainstream neoliberal straightiness away!
Fully Emancipated Gay Socialist Proletarian Stalinists of the world unite!
You have nothing to lose but your Fully Unemancipated Straight Neoliberal Bourgeois Normie Class Consciousness!
Originally published on Medium.com
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