White House Claims Bush Torched California for Sport

New York – In the current edition of The Nation magazine, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel charges that President Bush is personally responsible for burning California’s economy.

“The devastating 2007 fires tipped California over the edge,” Emanuel said. “What is not widely known is that President Bush, peeved at the ‘Governator,’ behaved badly during his 2007 visit to the fire-ravaged state, making the situation far worse and far more costly.”

Emanuel revealed that Code Pinker Cindy Sheehan told the FBI she saw Marine One descend time and again, deliberately using the helicopter’s rotors to fan dying blazes to life.

Later, Sheehan said, the chopper landed and she watched the President, Vice President Cheney, and Karl Rove catch fleeing animals and throw them into the flames.

In the most shocking revelation, Sheehan claimed to observe Bush toasting marshmallows in the dying embers of seniors Charlie and Wilma Jones’ house as the couple wept nearby. Later, she said, she heard Bush calling AIG, promising the insurance giant’s president all the federal help he needed.

Katrina vanden Heuvel, Editor of The Nation, has preemptively rejected any criticism of the piece. “We stand by the story,” said vanden Heuvel, “because we have no proof it didn’t happen.”

Author: Sagman44

Sagman44 was born in Brooklyn and taught language skills in a New York City alternative school for troubled Utes. When the federal government defunded the program in 1994, the Utes returned to their ancestral homeland outside Salt Lake City, and Sagman44 began a career as a leg shark and loan-breaker for dyslexic mobsters. One legacy of Sagman44’s time in education: his distaste for arrogant teens and the expression, “F--- you.” He spends his spare time roaming the city with a can of spray paint, examining subway walls and tenement halls, adding “th” to the curse wherever he finds it.

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