Sharpen Your Pens! Glossy News Wants Your Poems… & Here are a Few Examples to Whet your Appetites!

Glossy News has plenty of room for poetry: serious poetry, yes, but especially satire! Or sometimes even serious (i.e. sober satire).

Email the managing editor on if you want to contribute.

Here are a few ideas to set you off:

The Knives of Athenry

The Satirist has some very high quality satire indeed, so even to have been published there twice feels good.

The poem doesn’t feel good though. It’s a rewriting of a famous Irish folk song.

My wish is that it may be seen to  capture some of the pain and anguish and bittersweet hopefulness of the original

By a lonely Irish ward, I heard an infant wailing
“Mammy, they said they’re taking me away,
For the people repealed the 8th
To be cut in pieces is my fate
Mammy, save me, or I’ll never see the light of day!”

Utterly horrific, and not exactly the ‘funny’ kind of satire, to say the least.

But then again, satire doesn’t have to be funny.

Sometimes all you can to is groan in pain.

The Knives of Athenry: A Not So Humorous Satire on an Irish Folk Ballad

In Syria Did Cameron

Oh look, it’s everybody’s favourite accidentally-alleged pig-fancier! No porkies, Dave!

A poetess with a hand grenade
In a vision once my master saw:
She was a courageous Kurdish lass
And raid she made, again a raid:

Chanting of perfidious Ankara.
Could I find a way to sing her
Her bullets and her bombs
O, such a deep delight! She’d fund us!
With her sirens loud and long,
I would build my noble castle in the air,
Ah, sunny lass! ‘Gainst men of ice!

Formal Verse Poetry

I’m sure you don’t want to be bored by all my horrible editor’s stuff, and you need to get to the real meat, which is the stuff from our main contributors who have made the site what it is today! So, to finish off with my stuff, here’s something rather more formal and meditative than most of my content on Glossy News, which is of course primarily a satire site.

Mighty of fate,

Whose homeland was among us,

Weak of breath and heartbeat,

Whose courage did redeem us,

Resplendent darkness,

O thou great unmanifest mystery of time!

4. rfreed’s NASTY Limerick

OK, so this is where it gets fun!

Marie Butina, a Russian lass who loves guns
Also happens to have a nice set of buns.
So she came to America to use her bootie,
To catch a live one who thought her a cutie.

She likened herself a Soviet NRA
And a modern day Calamity Jane
A pistol packin’ mama the role she did play
For the infiltration she hoped to gain.

Proudly Presenting Present Presidential & Pundit Political Poetry!

5. Guest Post from M C Newberry

You’ll find them among most types of mob

With shuttered mind and open gob.

You’d be forgiven for wondering what they do for a living

When they prefer to be taking rather than giving.

They’ll shout you down in your own small protest

And you think they might actually be seeking arrest

From the ranks of police that wearily try

To make sure the peace doesn’t go too awry.

Well, that was brilliant! If you don’t live in the UK, be thankful!


Author: Editorials and Announcements