Glossy News has plenty of room for poetry: serious poetry, yes, but especially satire! Or sometimes even serious (i.e. sober satire).
Email the managing editor on email@example.com if you want to contribute.
Here are a few ideas to set you off:
The Knives of Athenry
The Satirist has some very high quality satire indeed, so even to have been published there twice feels good.
The poem doesn’t feel good though. It’s a rewriting of a famous Irish folk song.
My wish is that it may be seen to capture some of the pain and anguish and bittersweet hopefulness of the original
By a lonely Irish ward, I heard an infant wailing
“Mammy, they said they’re taking me away,
For the people repealed the 8th
To be cut in pieces is my fate
Mammy, save me, or I’ll never see the light of day!”
Utterly horrific, and not exactly the ‘funny’ kind of satire, to say the least.
But then again, satire doesn’t have to be funny.
Sometimes all you can to is groan in pain.
In Syria Did Cameron
Oh look, it’s everybody’s favourite accidentally-alleged pig-fancier! No porkies, Dave!
A poetess with a hand grenade
In a vision once my master saw:
She was a courageous Kurdish lass
And raid she made, again a raid:
Chanting of perfidious Ankara.
Could I find a way to sing her
Her bullets and her bombs
O, such a deep delight! She’d fund us!
With her sirens loud and long,
I would build my noble castle in the air,
Ah, sunny lass! ‘Gainst men of ice!
Formal Verse Poetry
I’m sure you don’t want to be bored by all my horrible editor’s stuff, and you need to get to the real meat, which is the stuff from our main contributors who have made the site what it is today! So, to finish off with my stuff, here’s something rather more formal and meditative than most of my content on Glossy News, which is of course primarily a satire site.
Mighty of fate,
Whose homeland was among us,
Weak of breath and heartbeat,
Whose courage did redeem us,
O thou great unmanifest mystery of time!
4. rfreed’s NASTY Limerick
OK, so this is where it gets fun!
Marie Butina, a Russian lass who loves guns
Also happens to have a nice set of buns.
So she came to America to use her bootie,
To catch a live one who thought her a cutie.
She likened herself a Soviet NRA
And a modern day Calamity Jane
A pistol packin’ mama the role she did play
For the infiltration she hoped to gain.
5. Guest Post from M C Newberry
You’ll find them among most types of mob
With shuttered mind and open gob.
You’d be forgiven for wondering what they do for a living
When they prefer to be taking rather than giving.
They’ll shout you down in your own small protest
And you think they might actually be seeking arrest
From the ranks of police that wearily try
To make sure the peace doesn’t go too awry.
Well, that was brilliant! If you don’t live in the UK, be thankful!
WHAT OTHER POEMS SHOULD WE LINK TO NEXT TIME? COMMENT BELOW!