Category: The Rest
Barack Obama Thanks Bristol Palin for Unsolicited Parental Advice
Barack Obama made certain that he acknowledged the wise words he received indirectly Friday from Bristol Palin with regards to his stance on same-sex marriage. “We are just incredibly thankful to have someone as mature and wise as Bristol Palin…
Non-aborted Person Complains About Lot in Life
Roy Blunt Talks Hoes Not Women on International Women’s Day
Sen. Roy Blunt (R-Mo) chose International Women’s Day to talk about hoes. Here’s how he chose to honor March 8, 2012 on Twitter: Today is Natl Agriculture Day. Hope you’ll join me to recognize the vital benefits agriculture plays in…
GlossyNews Launches Hostile Takeover of The Onion
Around 3:00AM this morning, editors and contributors of GlossyNews snuck into The Onion’s corporate office. Armed with biting words and keen wit they successfully carried out a hostile takeover. As of this morning, all news originating from TheOnion’s website and…
Anderson Cooper Gives In and Asks Kathy Griffin on a Real Date
Friends of both Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper were elated when told that Cooper has finally given in to Griffin’s amorous advances and agreed to take her on a date. “It was the next logical step,” claims Mitzi Moloney, one…
Michele Bachmann Claims God Sometimes Tells Her to Say Stupid Things
Michele Bachmann appeared on CBS’s Face the Nation Sunday to cover her tracks yet again with the familiar line “Of course, that’s not what I meant to say. I was just trying to be funny.” Bachmann was trying to explain…
Bernanke Claims Quantity Not Quality Goal of New Stimulus Plan
In a shocking move this morning, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke announced yet another new plan to stimulate the US economy with what has been labelled ‘Quantative Easing Number Six Thousand Eight Hundred and Forty Seven.’ “Clearly the other six…
New Research Shows Bible is True; Scientists Give Up
Think you know the Bible? Take the GlossyNews Unbeatable Bible Quiz!
Glossy News Rumor Mill on the Fritz
Glossy News is usually the first to get all the news that is fit to print out there for everyone in a somewhat timely manner. However, due to mechanical failures which have occurred in the past couple of weeks, the…