Author: Sean Myers
Manning Joins Broncos, Tebow Converts to Paganism
DENVER, Colorado – “There is more than one God,” Tim Tebow said in awe after watching Peyton Manning complete yet another pass in practice. “There’s just no other explanation.” The Broncos’ ex-quarterback, known less for his passing skills than for…
Man Murdered at Mime Convention for Coughing, Suspect at Large
LOS ANGELES, California – A police manhunt is underway in Los Angeles after a man was fatally shot during the 29th annual Mime Convention in the city convention center. Reports say that the shooting happened during the Convention’s final performance,…
Local Man Masters Art of Making Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich
The peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s the staple of grade school students. The standby for financially-strapped college students. The sign that a husband has done something wrong when he opens the brown-bagged lunch his wife made him that morning….
Debt Ceiling Debate Came Down to Rock, Paper, Scissors
EDITOR’S NOTE: ARTICLE WRITTEN BEFORE AGREEMENT WAS REACHED – After recent discussions in Congress over John Boehner and Harry Reid’s plans to solve the debt ceiling crisis dissolved into gavel smashing and cross-aisle spitting, political analysts have predicted that the…
Pittsburgh Pirates “Sorry”; Promise to Stop Winning
Today, the front office of the Pittsburgh Pirates made a formal apology to Major League Baseball and all of its fans for having such a successful 2011 season so far. “We’re ashamed to say that, this year, we haven’t done…