Author: CraigW
Your Horoscope, You’re so Screwed
Aries: Your love of casual nudity and disregard for the warning labels on table saws will bring you a certain amount of fame in the medical community this week. Henceforth, genital reattachment after an industrial accident will be known as…
Stars Align; It’s Not Your Week (horoscopes)
This week, many disturbing things are going to happen and the Stars are giddy like school girls that they get to watch.* RIGHT: The sign of Cancer. My wife was a cancer, which is kind of ironic considering how she…
Your Very Wrong on so Many Levels Horoscopes
Aries: The Stars understand and sympathize with your plan to move to either Amsterdam or Berlin where you feel people with your particular, shall we say interests are better accepted. However, The Stars have to warn you that even the…
The Illuminati Responds to Shooting by Rap Artist During Pledge Week
A Richmond Virginia man is being held without bail after his marijuana fueled attempt to sacrifice his friend in order to join the Illuminati. The man, an aspiring rap artist believed that by killing his friend he could join the…
Your Horoscope for the Week of March 25th, 2013
The stars can see your future and they want to give you the bad news before someone else gets to. For never-ending horoscopes, check out our Random Horoscope Generator. RIGHT: A graphic of the incorrect version of astral superstition, but…