Day: March 26, 2013
Monica Lewinsky’s Dress to be Sold at Auction
After being rejected by the Smithsonian, Monica Lewinsky announced today that she will be selling her famous, blue, semen-stained dress at auction. Southeby’s, Inc., which will be handling the sale, predicts the historic dress should fetch up to $10 million…
Melting Glaciers Making “Really Nice” Ice Cubes for Inuits
GREENLAND–Last year, a melting glacier known as the Petermann glacier calved off a sizable chunk of ice approximately twice the size of Manhattan. And the Inuit couldn’t be happier. Apparently, the Greenlandic natives have been benefiting from global warming trends…
The Illuminati Responds to Shooting by Rap Artist During Pledge Week
A Richmond Virginia man is being held without bail after his marijuana fueled attempt to sacrifice his friend in order to join the Illuminati. The man, an aspiring rap artist believed that by killing his friend he could join the…