Posted in Politics

Monica Lewinsky’s Dress to be Sold at Auction

After being rejected by the Smithsonian, Monica Lewinsky announced today that she will be selling her famous, blue, semen-stained dress at auction. Southeby’s, Inc., which will be handling the sale, predicts the historic dress should fetch up to $10 million…

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Posted in Environment

Melting Glaciers Making “Really Nice” Ice Cubes for Inuits

GREENLAND–Last year, a melting glacier known as the Petermann glacier calved off a sizable chunk of ice approximately twice the size of Manhattan. And the Inuit couldn’t be happier. Apparently, the Greenlandic natives have been benefiting from global warming trends…

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Posted in Music

The Illuminati Responds to Shooting by Rap Artist During Pledge Week

A Richmond Virginia man is being held without bail after his marijuana fueled attempt to sacrifice his friend in order to join the Illuminati. The man, an aspiring rap artist believed that by killing his friend he could join the…

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