Crayola Announces New “John Boehner Orange” Crayon Color

Pumpkin Place, Ohio (GlossyNews) —The poop on politics from Norbert B. Snortwhistle.

The iconic Crayola crayon company announced it will introduce a new crayon color, “John Boehner Orange,” based on what it calls the “distinctive, even unique, hues and shades” of the House Speaker’s perpetual tan.

Sources say the new Boehner-inspired color is a carefully crafted mixture of Crayola’s classic Burnt Orange and its newer Neon Carrot and Mango Tango hues. Read more Crayola Announces New “John Boehner Orange” Crayon Color

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Woman Sues Gigolo for Nonperformance

Vail, Col – GlossyNews.com – Bernice J. Sommerstein has sued ski instructor and self-proclaimed gigolo, Brad Chadley, for failing to perform according to an oral agreement entered into following Sommerstein’s ski lesson on February 3, asking $250 in monetary damages and $1 million for “extreme emotional distress”.

“Somebody should do something about these good-looking ski guys who prey upon us unsuspecting housewives,” says Sommerstein, who by most accounts, was not preyed upon. Read more Woman Sues Gigolo for Nonperformance

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