3/5ths of Southern Blacks Vote for Obama

GlossyNews.com – With exit polls in and precincts already reporting in Georgia, Mississippi and South Carolina, one thing is holding true; blacks are voting 3/5ths for incumbent president Barack Hussein Obama.

We talked with Jerry Green, a double-amputee and 3/5ths African-American in Jackson, Mississippi who had just cast his vote.

“We work hard and pay [our] taxes. We’re not that 47% Romney talks about, we’re the 3/5ths!”

Right: Image appears courtesy of Heather Gillam. Click to enlarge.

Letitia Jackson* cast her ballot in Tuscaloosa, Alabama with her children waiting patiently by her side. “I’m voting for Obama, and 3/5ths of my kids’ dad’s are doing the same thing right now.”

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With a historic precedent of rejecting 40% of ballots cast by African Americans, the Bible Belt is looking forward to representing their black constituents at an estimated and acceptable rate of 60%, a “fair value” as one older gentlemen suggested.

“What is this article for?” asked a poll worker. “Who are you with?”

We declined to answer, but instead packed up our stuff as she continued, “This isn’t one of those race-baiting articles is it? How come you’re only talking with colored voters?”

We made it to the door before a roll of “I Voted” stickers struck our photographer in the back of the head. On the whole, a successful day of poll-watching, even though it left us wondering which “color” it was that she was referring to.

* Letitia is the name of the single hottest girl I ever made love to… that’s just an editorial aside, it has no bearing on the article per se, but it does bring back fond memories of that erstwhile lesbian who so rocked my socks off… oh Letitia, I do so miss you.

Author: Dexter Sinistri

Dexter Sinistri is a famously centrist writer who has worked as a Hollywood correspondent for a number of leading publications since 2005. Though once a photographer, Mr. Sinistri struck out as a writer on all things celebrity, and he likes to consider himself a tremendous asset to Glossy News, though by most accounts, he has fallen somewhat short of this effort.

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