Davos, Switzerland (Reuters)
During one of the conference breaks President Trump, the moral and spiritual leader of American white evangelicals, was overheard bragging to Angela Merkel and non-neomerc environmental activist Greta Thunberg about how his mother had invented the dildo. (This is not to be confused, however, with Putin’s invincible nuclear powered butt-plug WMD).
Yeah, this morning I said Elon Musk is one of our greatest geniuses and we have to protect him…but I really wish I was around when that sleazeball outfit in California—Doc Johnsons—ripped off my mom’s genius. That’s right, Mary Ann invented the dildo using melted latex gloves, Jello and a meat loaf pan right in our little kitchen. She went to Doc Johnsons, who licensed it for a measly $2000 and then sat on it while they successfully reverse engineered their version into the market. I feel cheated! I could have been even richer than I already am! Can you imagine the sales power that a Trump dildo would have had in the sex toy market.
Yawn…
Poor old ranty Donald. Shall we continue?!
I blame my dad for not being more savvy about it, but what the hell he was just a real estate guy!
We’ve all been there…
I am not one to hold a grudge, but let me ask you this A, if I cut your NATO contribution requirement by 15%, would you be willing to do me a favour though…. like impose a 53% tariff hike on those crooked California b*ds at Doc Johnsons. Just have your people contact Rudy, Mick and/or Mark and we can get the ball rolling or is that the roll balling!!! HA, HA, HA. COVFEFE!