New Low for NRA: Gun Nuts Plot March Against the ‘Nuclear Disarmament’ of US Citizens

Further to yesterday’s story about the NRA’s “100% favorable” rating for ISIS, it gets worse. The NRA are now marching against the tyrannical nuclear disarmament of US citizens.

At a mass rally in Topeka, Kansas, the NRA unveiled their new strategy.

(I was told I had to call it a ‘patriotic demonstration,’ otherwise I would be in ‘serious trouble.’ I didn’t know what they meant by that, so I’m going to just go on ahead and call it a mass rally anyway).

At the mass rally, a charismatic spokesperson roared:

It all starts with the nukes!

The crowd howled and shrieked in ecstasy.

The spokesperson continued:

If the Warsaw ghetto had been able to keep their nukes, there wouldn’t be no such thing as the Nazis, to this very day!

It all starts with the nukes, I say!

Why weren’t the West Europeans, the Kazakhstanis, the Mongoloids, the Afghaners…

Why weren’t they able to fight back against the Soviets?

Because the government stole their nukes!

Apparently taking every word as high truth itself, the vicious mob screamed:

No government, no problem!

No government, no problem!

The raving lunatic then shrieked:

Love your government!

Love your government!

Love your government!

Shove a nuke up his ass, just to show you care!

Unconfirmed rumors suggest that a number of ‘hostile foreign powers’ are closely monitoring the situation. We’ll bring you an update on this tomorrow: Wednesday, 18 October!

Image attribution:

No machine-readable author provided. Orlovic assumed (based on copyright claims). [GFDL, CC-BY-SA-3.0 or CC BY-SA 2.5-2.0-1.0], via Wikimedia Commons


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