Does love mean losing control?
People often say that this is true.
From my perspective (past tense, -ish), it wasn’t not quite like this. I have indeed feared losing control; but it wasn’t about being afraid of someone mistreating me. It was more about the fear of my understanding of the world changing.
If you were centered in the assumption that you did have one chance, forever, and you blew it, then any change to that central pillar of your ‘world’ would undoubtedly throw the entire map into chaos.
Or so, at least, you would fear.
It’s very upsetting and distressing to have your entire vision of the world shaken.
At the same time, maturity demands that you move beyond such fear and reticence.
Clinging to a ‘map of the world’ that has outlived its purpose, and which can only do you harm, cannot be healthy.