Categorized | Politics

Romney Faceplate Cracks in Front of Iowa Crowd

Romney Faceplate Cracks in Front of Iowa Crowd – This morning, as the sun rose on the cornholing state, Mitt Romney stood in front of a gathered crowd of John Deere factory workers, when his robotic faceplate fractured and fell off of his robot face.

The crowd gathered remained fairly silent, even agape as it happened quietly clanked on the concrete floor.

“Well I always figured he was a robot, but I didn’t think he was a defective robot,” said Margaret Herworther, a line worker from Adair, Iowa. “I figured he could make it through the election before he broke down,” adding, “I mean, at least he’s not a Muslim.”

Right: Romney’s face, as it appears without the simuloid face of a human adorning it. Image appears courtesy of Heather Gillam. Click photo to enlarge

Rob Langmandon, a heavy machinery worker from Elkhart, Iowa said, “this is the same Romney we’ve seen consistently on the campaign trail. He’s steady on Israel, steady on energy independence, so what does it matter if his faceplate fell off revealing his robot innards?”

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One woman in attendance, a Mrs. Yates from Long Grove, Iowa, asked, “Haven’t we all seen our face plates fall off at one time or another. This doesn’t mean we should vote for that Kenyan socialist foreign fascist libertarian.”

And she’s right. What she said makes absolutely no sense, and it contradicts with itself at least three times, and all reality at least as many times, but it still makes perfect sense, according to our international affiliates picking up this story in syndication for overseas reprints.


This post was written by

- who has written 269 posts on

Dexter Sinistri is a famously centrist writer who has worked as a Hollywood correspondent for a number of leading publications since 2005. Though once a photographer, Mr. Sinistri struck out as a writer on all things celebrity, and he likes to consider himself a tremendous asset to Glossy News, though by most accounts, he has fallen somewhat short of this effort.


One Response to “Romney Faceplate Cracks in Front of Iowa Crowd”

  1. Brian White says:

    Pretty sure this didn't happen. Your blog sucks.


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