Eleven Things Todd Akin (R)ape Actually Believes

With all the unfair and fairly crazy stuff Todd Akin (R-Missouri) has said lately, it may be hard to keep a fair track of him, and what he believes.

Here is a handy guide to what Todd Akin actually believes. You can use this as your handy guide to whether you should contribute to him financially, or if you’re instead a sane person.

RIGHT: Todd Akin standing in front of perhaps the most apropos sign to describe the race for the senate in Missouri. (CLICK PHOTO TO ENLARGE)

Here is what Todd Akin actually believes:

1. Pregnancy is actually caused by rabid storks.
2. Rape is a liberal media conspiracy.
3. Christians can “pray the rape away” if they just truly believe.
4. That the GOP establishment is actually going to swoop in and save him.
5. Rapes don’t deserve to be the object of consumer boycotts.
6. Rape only happens between people of the same sex (which is why it can’t cause pregnancy).
7. Tiny nits from the netherworld cause sin… yes, he believes this.
8. Ball punches are only painful if you believe in them.
9. That Mitt Romney is considering him as second runner up for Vice President.
10. That he’s too sexy for his shirt.
11. Prostitutes can’t get pregnant so they are safe havens, but only on weekdays.

This article also had contribution from Barb Weir and P. Beckert.