Cuddly Kitten It’sNoCan’t Invents Funny Tales to Amuse Children (Story 2)

Note: I think the following story from an anonymous source is really rather foolish, trite and lacking in serious artistic maturity.

It is excessively fantastical, it is whimsical to the point of nonsensical, and quite frankly, I am tempted to say that the author has all but wasted their time.

I do not see anything in this story other than nonsensical tomfoolery, and a pseudo-artistry which borders on the idiotic. Still, I have decided to print it anyway. See the following link:

Continued from last time:

With a most congenial purr of satisfaction, It’sNoCan’t said:

The Chameleo-Jumpies were responsible for the Great Chameleon Massacre! And their naughty friends, the nasty Hobby-Horsie-Zebra-Giraffists were the chief collaborators of the Chameleon killers!

The babbling babes hanging on the every word of their cuddly friend exploded with laugher. Albeit, sad to say, I use ‘explode’ in a merely figurative sense. After all, I didn’t say this wasn’t a silly story!

With every quaint and amusing fairy tale, the laughter in the open nuclear-and-otherwise bunker got louder and louder.

The Cattybums Intelligence Agency funded Sillytop’s Guinea Pig Snowy Purge operation!

Ho Ho Chinchilla’s class warfare was funded by the greedy, cheeky old dogs in the manger he actually killed!

Poo Poo Potty’s killing lawn would never have been a problem, but for the fact that the Bulldog Barking Corporation incited him to massacre the nice and cuddly citizens of his own friendly avenue!

Sad Christmas was a false flag puppy-scratching operation, promoted by the naughty gerbils of Wallpissing Street, who held the Washy-And-Squeaky government to ransom if they did not get their way!

The Rabbits of Mouse-Mar are not being persecuted by the Rabbit Goons government, but by Wahaha infiltrators colluding with Telly Run Run Kitty intelligence officers!

All of a sudden, however, It’sNoCan’t paused and looked queasy. He spat out another furball.

Do you know what the biggest joke of all is?

He wailed.


Catty Satanbums and Felix God-Wikkurl are both conspiring against me! They have told me that ALL who fail to condemn silly, trite, mindlessly meaningless bedtime stories are destined to eternal hellfire! Go, go, go now, every one of you! Save yourselves, before this place is destroyed!

But even as hellfire and brimstone began to rain down from Heaven, in the divinely-appointed earthly form of an ever silly and straying teddy-horse missile, the inanely naive babes of ignorance refused to quit tenderly stroking the fur and kissing the paws of their cheeky little catty friend…

There is no Microsoft Paint illustration provided with the story. This, I very much regret, and it is a fault I one day hope to redeem.

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!

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