Cuddly Kitten It’sNoCan’t Invents Funny Tales to Amuse Children (Story 1)

Note: I think the following story from an anonymous source is really rather foolish, trite and lacking in serious artistic maturity.

It is excessively fantastical, it is whimsical to the point of nonsensical, and quite frankly, I am tempted to say that the author has all but wasted their time.

I do not see anything in this story other than nonsensical tomfoolery, and a pseudo-artistry which borders on the idiotic. Still, I have decided to print it anyway. See the following link:

Critic of feral kitty-kats, non amateur-naughty-story-theorist & professional (-ish!) moderate-political-storyteller Prim-Prim ‘Tall Story’ It’sNoCan’t…

Has recently joked that mutual enemies the Iguana Statists, the Cheeky Cuckoos and the Southpaw Cats Information Agency temporarily put aside their differences recently, and staged the Grand(-iloquently Silly) Funny Street Furfight Massacre.

This notable professional cutiekins giggled and jested, between bouts of spurting out some sloppy gobbings from the saucer of milk cunningly placed by an unknown foreign benefactor…

Squealing with delight that some silly puppyhounds were telling cheeky lies, as though the naughty kitty incidents in question were somehow a nasty prank performed by It’sNoCan’t and his funny team of happy catties, the It’sFunnyTeam.

Purring and rubbing his legs against some ‘imaginary’ (or at least ‘several thousand walkie streets distant!’) benefactor, this nice little cattybums said:

I have some more funny stories to delight my masters and nice pleasant wikkurl petty friends! Hee hee hee!

The dreamy-eyed audience sighed, murmuring:

Why, isn’t it a funny little kittypoos! Ohhh, isn’t he sweet!

Munching his lamb meatballs and coughing out a hairball in a most amusing manner, It’sNoCan’t simpered:

If some of my funny chums disobeyed me and started biting rabbits, no-one would ever believe that it is me! They will think our enemies did it!

The whole magical fairyland of HeeHee Street exploded with laughter.

Ha! What a funny little kitty-kat!
Oh, he is just so sweet!

But the funny little home-happy kittypoos had more amusing jests and japes to amuse his juvenile listeners.

And, and, do you know what other famous enemies are always conspiring with each other?

The entire spirit-sphere of overgrown, over-privileged toddlers was on charmingly-amused tenterhooks.

Ohhh, isn’t he a dear!

Hee hee! Ohhh, you do make me laugh, pretty kittybums!

With a most congenial purr of satisfaction, It’sNoCan’t said:

The Chameleo-Jumpies were responsible for the Great Chameleon Massacre! And their naughty friends, the nasty Hobby-Horsie-Zebra-Giraffists were the chief collaborators of the Chameleon killers!

The babbling babes hanging on the every word of their cuddly friend exploded with laugher. Albeit, sad to say, I use ‘explode’ in a merely figurative sense. After all, I didn’t say this was a happy story!

With every quaint and amusing fairy tale, the laughter in the open nuclear-and-otherwise bunker got louder and louder.

The Cattybums Intelligence Agency funded Sillytop’s Guinea Pig Snowy Purge operation!

I must cut this short until next time. I apologise for boring our readers with this boring and tedious story, with its immature character development and implausible narrative and storyline.

Still, never mind ^____________^

There is no Microsoft Paint illustration provided with the story. This, I very much regret, and it is a fault I one day hope to redeem.

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!