Sequester: Museum to Open for Just 5 Minutes a Week

INDIANAPOLIS – The Indianapolis Museum of Art (IMA) has announced plans to scale back its opening times, insisting that from August 1st it will only open to the public 5 minutes a week.

According to museum CEO Maxwell L. Anderson, the rescheduling is a “necessary step during these trying economic times.”

“It will just mean that our customer base will have to make multiple visits to the museum each year,” he said. “And while we do encourage people to spend three of their five minutes walking around our wonderful gift shop, the museum itself is still free to enter.

“But seriously, for $20, you can’t go wrong with one of our new Andy Warhol dolls. They’re super awesome.”

The announcement comes just two months after the museum unveiled proposals to shut down its premises on weekends.

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

1 thought on “Sequester: Museum to Open for Just 5 Minutes a Week

  1. I think it's odd and suspicious how a lot of the things cut are those most visible. No Blue Angels doing an air show for SeaFair in Seattle. Ship tours cancelled in Everett, Washington. Flights delayed by FAA cutbacks… Just seems a bit too "pro-agenda" for me, but I guess cuts are cuts.

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