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Congress Accidentally Gives South Dakota Back to Sioux

   Published Date: January 6, 2010  81 Comments on Congress Accidentally Gives South Dakota Back to Sioux

Washington DC (GlossyNews) — On Friday, in a late business wrap up, the US Congress gave back the state of South Dakota to the Oglala Sioux Tribe. Reports have surfaced that an obscure bill, which was suppose to cede a 100 acre parcel of land in South Dakota back to the Oglala Sioux, had a small typographic error in the official copy which, accidentally, ceded the entire state of South Dakota back to the Oglala Sioux.

President Obama signed the measure into law without reading it late on Friday and on Saturday morning, the Oglala Sioux began the process of taking over a number of Uranium mines and oil fields. A group of South Dakota Republican state legislators stated that the acts were illegal and the law obviously a mistake. However, federal lawmakers are now into a two-week recess and are not available to set the motion right.

When asked if he could rescind his signature, President Obama replied, “It isn’t my place to redo the work of congress. If congress has decided to give South Dakota back to the Indians, well, I support that. My signature stands.”

Tribal leaders stress that the law ‘makes sense’ and ‘sets the record right’. They are encouraging non violent take overs of white businesses and properties before congress has a chance to change the laws.

“Possession is 9 tenths of the law, mother fuckers!” yelled a young Indian as we walked past.

The author of the bill in question – Representative Tom Chase (D-SD) said, “Well, I was trying to help some Sioux out by getting them a piece of their land back, I guess we just helped ALL of them instead.”

South Dakota governor M Michael Rounds reportedly said in a press conference Sunday morning that, “We all know this is a mistake. If necessary I will order out the National Guard to keep the unlawful seizure of property to a minimum.”

A spokesman for the Oglala Tribe remarks of Rounds, “Who is he? I think he might be a little out of his jurisdiction now. Technically, now the Chief of the Oglala Sioux Nation is governor of South Dakota.”

In related news, gas prices at a newly tribalized Texaco gas station near the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation have dropped to 25 cents a gallon for regular unleaded. Which is good news for the folks waiting in line at the Ford dealership in Sturgis. Tribal leaders say cars will go on sale there for $300.00 each on Thursday.

For followup on this incredible story, check out our sister site for their in-depth coverage.

Author: Reverend Mike

@rev_rend Reverend Mike is a contributing editor for Glossy News. He was a Combat Chaplain with the Soviet Red Army in the 1980s. A career which he describes as an 'unappreciated field of endeavor'. He later worked as an Information Officer with the TASS News Agency on assignment in White Sands, NM. The collapse of the Soviet Union left him unemployed and homeless. He survived by selling magazine subscriptions door to door disguised as a college coed. He was later kidnapped and taken to Shanghai where he was sold into a white slavery ring. He lived as a concubine for a Japanese music industry mogul until 2002 when a wardrobe malfunction revealed his true identity. He found himself homeless and unemployed again, with only his collection of Polaroid snap shots. Reverend Mike has since scraped together a meagre living by blackmailing Japanese industrialists. Reverend Mike lives in a small 5 bedroom penthouse flat overlooking Central Park in New York City. His hobbies include exotic motorcycles, supermodels and owning small nations....

81 thoughts on “Congress Accidentally Gives South Dakota Back to Sioux”

  2. They are doing genocide on everybody right now they had it planned a long time ago. They are doing it with drugs. Everytime you turn around they disrespect the planet Mother Earth. That reminds me of a song In the Year 2525.

  3. I’ve actually sen the National Guard and curfews. And it’s not a joke and it’s nothing to joke around with. Especially with the living conditions on the reservations and an epidemic of suices and self mutilation.

  6. We may consider this as a blessing in disguise, and may all the forces be with us and above all Gods hand. The door has been opened and there is no turning back from here. We too will be working on getting international lawyers and Admiralty lawyers on board to express our voice loud and clear to whoever is at the Corporate level or higher, must go to the top in order to get heard. Thank you very kindly for keeping us all in the loop, and goes with out saying, our prayers are with you all too.

  7. It is great to hear, as Obama is living up to his promises to hear the Indians cries and concerns, will be praying into this for all tribes.

  9. I’m a guy.
    Since when do guys stop and ask for directions?

    And whats the difference between S. Dakota and Arizona anyways?
    Their both in the west, have miles of desert, are sparsely populated and have lots of snakes. (This should get the emails going again)

  10. this is great!
    if a substantial number of the big “factual” news networks had to remove stories that were not “completely truthful”, then without a doubt the only thing left in the news world would be sites like this one

  13. Ooopsie!
    I got my states screwed up.
    I thought this was the one about Arizona.
    No wonder it took me two years to discover I had taken a wrong turn and ended up in Alaska instead of St. Petersburg, Florida.

  15. Alright everyone, I just talked to General Petraus and he has agreed to carpet bomb Arizona into dust.
    It will now be fit only for cockroaches and earthworms.
    No whites,
    no redskins,
    no blacks,
    no Asians.
    Nobody.
    Are we all happy now?
    The thing has finally been resolved.
    Now we can all sing and dance and be happy!
    Right?

    Why don’t I hear anyone being happy?

  16. All across this country, we “whites” and many others are the offspring of “illegal aliens.” Our forefathers lied and robbed my indigenous brothers and sisters of North America in a horrific manor.
    There is nothing humorous about this so called satire. Autos for $300.00? The Sioux already live in poverty.
    My great grandfather moved to this country from Ireland in June, 1847. I cannot change where I was born. I am not a Native American wanna-be, however, it would not hurt any of us to try to walk the good red road!

  21. i have wated many moons for something to strike a fire under all my native brothers and sisters.now the time is right to take back all our land.buddy-a-nam-tay-say.chief of the cherokee tribal council.here in illinois

  22. holy crap this just about stirred enough attention as the war of the worlds in 1938. ha ha ha it sucked me in.

  23. Look like he shored up some votes in SD and quite easily too with this “mistake”. What will follow is so predictable. No one living on any reservation has seen any hope or change. They will use you to vilify anyone who clearly sees this error and the president knows its a mistake. Still amazed how so many people fall for his BS like moronic sheeple.

  24. Gregg: May I call you Grigorii? Oh that my long, hard, expansive life were satire. Sometimes fiction is actually stranger than truth disguised as satire wrapped in sardony… But then again, I’ve tried real life and, as the girls like to say, it left me gagging by the toilet wanting more….

    Thanks

    ~Rev Mike

  25. Great satire! Great satirical bio on Rev Mike! Seems to me people might have gotten two clues on it being satire:

    1. Headline of “GlossyNews.com; Combining truth and fiction incomprehensibly…”

    2. Rev Mike’s biography

    Clue to folks who missed the satire – check what the site and author say about themselves. Oh, and keep in mind there is some satirical stuff published around the end of March every year…. and “The Onion” is not serious news….

  28. For the love of God it’s NOT TRUE! Shame on you people who don’t use common sense and actually THINK when you read an article – you shouldn’t be allowed to vote, drive, or breathe.

  29. good just give the indians back there land it was stolen anyway. What is good for the goose is good for the gander.

  32. This story about the typo not being caught in time to save S. Dakota before being signed into law by the President – is indeed an interesting story – yet I am still confused – since it states the story is FALSE, yet it seems true enough to me that this WAS indeed an error that got caught TOO LATE, and no doubt be reversed. . . .

    BUT

    The OTHER amazing story on this page – was the story about Reverend Mike (the writer of this posting); if you didn’t read his BIO – you must go back and do so, for it is truly amazing and would make a great movie !!!

  36. i personally think this is the only good thing Obama has done since he’s been in office. actually i think this is the only thing he’s done. Well maybe he’ll fuck up and give the land back to the Cherokee and Shoshone’s too. I can only dream.

  37. Mike, I meant to put “iReport” after “CNN posted this…” in my post, but the fingers and keys just didn’t get the right memo when I thought I told them what to type.

  38. I believe this was posted on CNN Ireports which isn’t actually CNN but a forum where readers/watchers can post news and stories. So it isn’t the same as CNN actually reporting the story. If it appeared also on the main CNN pages, let me know, post up a link.

    ~Rev Mike

  39. CNN posted this story on their site…and credited the origin as GlossyNews below:

    Congress Accidentally Gives South Dakota Back to Sioux
    Thu, 01/07/2010 – 16:52 — Guest

    Washington DC (GlossyNews) —

  40. wow….white this white that….it’s insane how racist you PEOPLE are. does the hate inside every give you a bad taste? or are you all used to having shit come out of your mouths? Conquered people….you should have no shame…where is the pride where is the effort for something better?…instead of hating enjoy what the good can offer and just stay away from the bad….all people can act evil and devine…to lable a goupe of people because of missgivings and small mindedness, is why everyone is where they are now….so change or choke on your own shit

  44. I just have to comment Brian I love your comment “Oh Gurn, don’t ruin it for them.” I almost laughed out loud while at work….

  46. The truth is “The Lakota, Dakota, Nakota territory stretched from the smokies to the rockies” We just let anyone make a camp cuz thats how we rolled!!!

  48. I think its fantastic. Especially that Obama is messing with Congess.
    Its okay for them to make mistakes and go back on them.
    Ignorance is no excuse. Unfortunately, I’m sure its all temporary.
    White man is gonna Indian Give again! I hope they at least
    compensate for this massive mistake. Forget 100 acres. Give
    Back 100,000. I live in California but I have already contacted my
    Congressman and Senator. Let there be change for the better!

  49. It always amazes me how people take EVERYTHING they see on the internet, or read in an email as the total truth of it all. Point out real facts and one is immediately shouted down by the gullible masses that are too lazy to check things out to see if they were true or not.

  50. What?!? Satire?!?! No way! It is on the internet and therefor it MUST be true! I am not changing my thesis paper on this subject! I demand that you retract your retraction immediately!

  51. For the record we got a handful or really nasty emails about this story. Things like about how we should be ashamed for printing lies, how we should take the story down, and how we should apologize for intentionally fooling people.

    Few comments in general response. We don’t actually print.

    1- Ink is yucky and expensive, so we avoid actual printing on everything short of legal documents, of which we may see a few on this one.

    2 – If we took down every story we printed that wasn’t true, we’d have what, like ten stories left? This is a satire site and we eek out our place in popular culture by lampooning and poking fun at folly. Take it down? Sheesh, next you’ll ask the federal government to give South Dakota back to the Sioux!

    3 – I did not write this article, nor did I edit or approve it, but I would have. I do apologize with sincerity to those who mistook it for fact. It was not, and is not, our intention to deceive people. We only aim to entertain and raise powerful questions and discussions. Even looking back, there’s nothing in this story that would have led me to be cautious about its level of believability. The claim is so outrageous, the story is laced with jokes, and there is no other media outlet covering the story. It’s my belief that this would be huge international news, which it was not.

    So in summary, I am sorry for those who took the story at face value, but I will not remove the story as it remains a powerful commentary on the situation and a perfect opportunity for those of deepest conviction to open dialogue independently about these matters that mean so much to so many, and rightly so.

  54. Damn, I planned on going to Sturgis tomorrow to buy a car for $300. I even had enough for 2 cars, found a couple sober drivers and ev. They don’t have their license but we were gonna chance it. lmao

  58. If you want to get technical the Sioux were later arrivals to South Dakota. I believe the Cheyennes and Arapahoes were there first and got pushed out by the Sioux. The Black Hills were considered holy land to them too.
    And folks, this is a humor site- its nothing to get uptight about. Its all to be taken lightly and in fun.

  60. South Dakota was ours in the first place, it was illegally taken from us, the Sioux. All these treaties they made our ancestors sign without their full understanding and false promises, taking away South Dakota and other parts of other states too, that was all our land. Come on Congress, WAKE UP, this land is ours, it always was. If you try to change this bill that the President signed, THEN work to make those treaties that our ancestors signed, RIGHT. If you are the HONEST people you say you are and we know you do,then make those treaties RIGHT.

  61. Hey everyone ~

    THIS STORY IS NOT TRUE ~ IT IS A SATIRE>

    News Glossy News is an accredited online satirical publication and a contributing member of HumorFeed. This is listed in the “About” section.

  64. There are not that many whites in South Dakota anyway, right? I mean whites made the tribes leave time and time again.
    Come on down to New Mexico, we have plenty of room for ya’ll.

    For my Oglala brothers and sisters, stand your ground! Maybe the Buffalo has grown a leg back!

    Blessings on ya’ll from……
    White Buffalo Cloud Woman, aka, Ingrid

  65. How CHO is that?! We finally got one state back out of 50 states.. Technically now we OWN south dakota… This is some off the wall stuff.. BUT it was ours to begin with.. NO INDIAN GIVING!!!

  66. Sad world. I’m a torn American. My great-grandmother was half cherokee. I carry both the blood of those who invaded our land’s and destroyed our nations and the blood of those whose land was stolen. I’ve found a wicked pride in the power of the American nation and the power of the Cherokee nation.

  70. its about time they gave South Dakota back to the our mother Earths people it should stay that way hokahay to all tioshbia love you bettelyouns and all other Oglala sioux lakota tribe

  73. Lets not forget Taneal that the treaties were law with presidential
    signatures-and they “took” them back. As much as this should be the
    way of it-if it’s true does anybody really believe it will stand?
    I surely don’t looking at the five hundred plus years of history.
    The state has to take it to court? I doubt it-all that will be
    required is yet another bill to replace it-or some sort of amendment.
    Obama has been vetted and found acceptable prior to the nomination
    and election-that means he’s a team player-look at the health care bill
    and the escalation in troops-look too that there are more lobbyists in Washington since this administration took over than any previous time in history, then tell me he’s The One.

  74. The acts of the Congress are only for interstate access and to facilitate trade between American Indians and the states. Constitutionally, this violates the 10th amendment.

    Regardless of whether or not it is a violation of the Constitution of these United States of America, the State will need to take it to court to show that the law the Federal Congress passed is unconstitutional.

  76. If the President says his signature stands,then the Oglala Sioux Tribe should have the land and the state if that law now says! Signature Stands!!!

  77. Sends more PRAYERS that ALL OUR HOMELAND IS RETURNED to US….THE ORIGINAL NATIVE INDIGENOUS RED PEOPLE…that did not SELL any of it to the >>CALVARY a/k/a PILGRIMS!

    Going to contact famili out in South Dakota… I personally will help go and Organized & help the Pilgrims PACK & GO BACK to their Homelands!

    Will do HONORING CEREMONY TODAY…!!!

    PS: Yesterday was…”ASTROLOGERS, PSYCHIC, WITCHES CHRISTMAS >CHRISTMAS> 1-6-2010 & 1-7-2010 is Russian Christmas..Gregorian Calendar….

    Hope EVERYONE Watching SKY NATIONS WRITINGS in OURA HEAVENS!!!!!!!!!

    the *WAY* is COMING!!!!!!!!

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