Categorized | Crime, Top Stories

Bill Cosby, O. J. Simpson to Lecture Serial Killers on Self-Protection

Bill Cosby, O. J. Simpson to Lecture Serial Killers on Self-Protection

Following the lead of Brock Turner on how to rape someone and not get caught, fellow misunderstood master (alleged) criminals Bill Cosby and O.J. Simpson are to make a campus tour lecturing the serial killer community on how not to get in trouble.

Grinning ear to ear and clasping O.J. by the shoulders, prominent crime-time celebrity Bill Cosby guffaws:

The rule of law must be upheld.

Any time anyone sees you rape or kill someone, it just has to go to court.

So, the best way to preserve the rule of law is to make your those bitches don’t know SHIT about what you’re doing! Now ain’t that so, brother?

Looking daggers at the flippant comments of the second most beloved serial rapist ‘Bill’ in the USA, O.J. grimly murmured:

Here are three things you can do to solve the problem of serial killing.

Number 1, make sure you gag ’em good, so they can’t scream nothing.

Number 2, make sure you maintain good relations with the local policing, judicial, legal and business communities. If you ever do find yourself unjustly accused, make sure you know what’s what.

Number 3, keep your nose clean. I mean, personally I’ve never killed anyone, nor has Bill. But one of my friends told me it’s very useful to not do or say anything that gives the merest cause for suspicion.

Maybe have a nice, family-friendly secondary career on the side, to lull people into a f… into a TRUE sense of security.

Just a quick point to remind everyone:

Establishment Democrats warn if there is violence against a woman, the woman should be believed. Please remember that.

Share

This post was written by

- who has written 483 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Sub-editor of Glossy News
Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! wallacerunnymede@gmail.com
You can buy my satire and poetry ebooks from many online stores, including Amazon.


.

Leave a Reply


We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
We Made a Movie!


Check us out on Kickstarter!


Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

DHgate.com



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial