Tag Archive | "war on drugs"

George Osborne Facing Possible Death Sentence in Indonesia for Cocaine Offenses


Former UK Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne (formerly known as Gideon Osborne) has recently been arrested for drug possession and trafficking offenses in Indonesia.

Indonesia, like many countries in Southeast and Northeast Asia, has very stringent laws on narcotics.

And a number of British citizens have fallen afoul of these drug laws in recent years; finding themselves confined for decades to the depressing squalour of grotesque mass prisons.

Some have even been executed.

And confidential sources now tell us Osborne himself is likely to meet the same fate. Speaking on condition of anonymity, one source close to the Indonesian government tells Glossy News: Read the full story

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Following Weed Legalization, Trump Tries to Cede Maine to Canada – Trudeau Confounded


President-select Donald Trump, in a presidential huff of not-my-jobbery, quickly fled to Mar-a-Lago in Florida, as the right to consume recreational Marijuana was heating up in the King Lobster State of Maine.

“I think it’s important for states to decide what is and isn’t legal,” said Trump, referring to the suppression of LGBTQ rights, while adding, “But this marijuana. You know what that is, right? It’s drugs. Very bad stuff. We have to get rid of it.”

Trump allegedly called his “good friend Jason Trodo” to ask what Canada would pay to take Maine “off our hands.” While Prime Minister Justin Tredeau wasn’t opposed to annexing Maine, which the majority New Hampsharts already consider Canada, the deal-breaker was the requirement for 611 miles of “Mexican-proof cement walls, with gold trim at the top, because it looks better that way.” Read the full story

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“Crack is Whack” is Back (in Black?)


New York, New York–Drug Abuse Resistance Education, better known as D.A.R.E., has yet another catchy phrase it will soon be rolling out.

“Crack is Whack,” the phrase made famous by Whitney Houston in a Diane Sawyer television interview, will be unveiled as D.A.R.E.’s new slogan. “We feel this will get the kids’ attention and appeal to the younger hipper kids of today.

Just Say No was a simpleton’s approach to warning our youth about the dangers of drugs,” that according to D.A.R.E. spokeswoman Marla Jonesboro. Read the full story

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Another Dalai Lama Gaffe: Heroin-Pushing A-OK, if Intention Good


One or two people might have been offended by the information included in my recent scoop on the Dalai Lama’s views on war crimes. But unfortunately, no apology or clarification from His Exalted Phatness has been forthcoming…

Instead, I have a second blunder to report (with all the wide-eyed sincerity a cynical satirical hack can muster).

Well, what is it this time?

Hmm… everybody’s favourite non-judgmental, peaceful and achingly groovy religious leader has given a word from the wise to all those bigoted, ignorant, lawless, and unenlightened folks who look down on heroin dealers. Read the full story

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Should Ecstasy Be Legalized? Counterpoint Debate


There are many drugs terrorizing our nation, from low-cost heroine and crack to high-potency crystal meth. One drug equally vilified that gets a bit less attention is Ecstasy, known by its chemical name MDA or MDMA.

MDMA was first synthesized by Merck in 1912 to stop abnormal bleeding. It didn’t work in that capacity and was quickly abandoned, left for history to rediscover. Read the full story

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Posted in Crime, HealthComments (7)

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