Tag Archive | "video games"

4K Glossy News Podcast 043 (5-16-16)


The 4K/UHD podcast is back again this week with with another awesome guest hostery by Justyn Confer.

All of this is available in UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”.

Here are the topics covered in the the May 16th edition.

* Special guest host Justyn Confer! Read the full story

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4K Glossy News Podcast 028 (2-1-16)


The podcast is back with more, and now, with even more original than ever before.

All of this is available in UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”.

Here are the topics covered in the the February 1st, 2016 4K/UHD podcast.

* Joke of the week: The time we went hiking and I got bitten by a venomous snake and had to rely on my buddy to save my life.

* An open concept for how to make a massive online game that exists as more than an experience, but as a real world news media event. Not just viral, but big enough to make actual news.

* A proven business strategy to use protesting, public lands and social media to get everything you could ever want delivered right to your doorstep within three weeks. Free business idea, guys, just for you.

* The weiredest dreams in my house aren’t mine or my kids. No, my dog has the weirdest dreams ever and I’m still trying to figure out what they are.

* A recommendation for the best up-and-coming spoof news show on the air. You may have heard of it, but statistically, you haven’t seen it yet.

* How to participate in primaries and caucuses, and a last-ditch pitch for Bernie Sanders before the first round kicks off.

* If you’re going to set someone up on a blind date, there are only TWO rules to remember, and they are explained in here.

* Profile of a Reddit user ranked in the top-600 after less than a month of creating his account.

* Why I canceled Amazon Prime and why you should too. The video streaming service is useless, the cloud storage (photos) is extortion and the “free shipping” is artificiall slow and they do it all on purpose. Oh, and good luck with customer service, it’s worse than a joke. A joke passes quickly, their attempts at customer service is nothing better than a huge waste of time.

Listen to it



Or you can download it by right-clicking and selecting “save as” right here. It’s also available on iTunes.

Watch it on YouTube



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Segment bumpers and background music by Greg the Hero. Royalty Free Music “Your Call,” “Sneaky Snitch,” “Upbeat Forever,” “Crowd Hammer,” and “Funkorama” by Kevin MacLeod — Incompetech.com. 4K/UHD Backgrounds by Amitai Angor AA VFX www.youtube.com/dvdangor2011.

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Nintendo 1 ups Rapper


Michigan rapper gets no option to continue with “Super Mario World” themed clothing idea. “Its down the tubes like Mario i guess” says $Paid (Pronounced Spade) unsigned recording artist and part owner of Street Made Entertainment.

The Facebook rhymer got a cease and desist order served to him over a litigation from a possible t shirt idea featuring what looks like the Super Mario World theme. Read the full story

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Video Game Makers Reach Around to Senior Citizens


As the video game industry continues to mature, game makers are scrambling to create the next generation of games designed specifically for a maturing demographics. You can give the older gamers a fancier avatar, but it’s a lot harder to get it up…to the higher levels than it used to be.

The average age of the hard core gamer is now…well about your age and getting older! So in accordance with the changing needs of an aging population, a new wave of games is coming. Wholesale “death and destruction” is not even remotely entertaining anymore. It takes a lot more to arouse the mature crowd these days.

Face it, you’ve seen one head explode, you’ve seen them all. It gets to a point where mere imagery just doesn’t pop the cork anymore. Aging gamers are looking for games that reflect the thrill and exhilaration of the “real life” that is slowly slipping away from them, while providing the irresponsible escapism and high definition graphics they’ve grown accustomed to. Get ready for Geezer Games.

These next generation games are so cutting edge, you can shave your ear lobes with them and the fear factor is so high, you’ll have to change your adult diaper. Using newly emergent “full immersion” technology, it’s like being trapped in The Matrix with a bad bootleg copy of “Misery” and irritable bowel syndrome. On the drawing board:

1) Grand Theft Audit:

The premise is simple. The Player is required to accumulate wealth by locating kickbacks, contraband and other sources of undeclared income and effectively hide them in offshore accounts before the Tax Man can audit their Piggy Bank. The game has 17 levels, each with a different Tax Code and Tax Bracket.

Those reaching the top level are exempted from the Tax Man, but are immediately set upon by the Charity Hordes and The Paparazzi, seeking to knock the player down a few levels for their selfish amusement. Rated ” MMMP” for Mo Money Mo Problems.

2) Staff Reduction of Doom:

Up to 16 million players compete on-line with each other over a dwindling numbers of staff positions within a global conglomerate. Each player is required to do absolutely anything possible to make themselves appear less expendable than the others. The Player is allowed a choice of sabotage tools, including Gossip and Blackmail.

Fall prey to the Slander Lawsuit and lose everything. Successful players move up a level. All others are tossed from a 40-story building by a cackling caricature of Donald Trump. Land on someone coming to work, get a 500 point bonus. Land in a garbage can surrounded by homeless people and get another life. Rated “YFSMO” for You’re Fu**ing Stressing Me Out.

3) Moving Violation:

Patterned after many of the most popular driving games, this next generation game requires players to navigate a maze of traffic jams, road construction elderly drivers, car-jacking thugs and being cut off in traffic without shooting anyone. Randomly targeted by small town policemen with ticket quotas, the goal is to make as many trips back and forth between home and work without accumulating an excess of tickets, losing ones license or insurance coverage.

Or shooting anyone. There is an increasing level of difficulty as game avatar ages, so hurry the hell up, Grandpa. But locate the Orb of Mid-life Crisis, buy a sports car and knock ten years off Player’s age. Rated “BYTTD’ for Bore Your Teen To Death.

4) Sims Child Support:

An interactive game, The Player must meet, marry and divorce a SIM, and gain control of child support payments before their financial stability is crushed. Players can play in one of two modes: Philandering Pete or Fertile Fergie. In the Fertile Fergie mode, the player must reproduce as quickly as possible, gaining points and Child Support for each child born.

In the Philandering Pete mode, the player must avoid marrying or divorce his SIM before she gives birth to more children than he can support. The Pete avatar has an Incognito mode, while Fergie possesses the Turbo Lawsuit Power Ring. There are no levels in this game and the player who dies last wins. Rated “OC” for Oh Crap!

5) Castle of Crumbling Credit:

This is an interactive game designed for many players. Players are required to acquire material goods and maintain their opulent lifestyle, while keeping their credit manageable. Players borrow and pay off Debt, looking for the perfect balance that allows them to climb the Social Ladder without being knocked off by falling sandbags of Minimum Payments.

Players must carry water from the Well of Cheap Credit to irrigate their Investment Crop in order to advance. But beware The Margin Call of Doom, a nebulous capital sucking incubus that’s always after your Lucky Charms. Or the Ogre of Increasing Interest Rates that can send you back to Level One! 256 levels of agonizingly thankless difficulty. Rated “SAY” for Screw All Ya’ll.

These games are planned to be rolled out in time for the beginning of the Christmas shopping season or as we call it, Labor Day. So get in line now. For those of you not inclined to camp out in long lines just to buy a video game…there’s a video game for that, too.

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Shia LaBeouf Makes Cameo in ‘Black Friday IV’ Trailer


Shia LaBeouf plays a sexy, sharpshooting stranger in the new live-action trailer for “Black Friday IV,” due out Nov. 7 for PlayStation and XBox.

The minute-long trailer, set in the post-Thanksgiving Day ruins of a large retail outlet, features a group of disheveled women battling to escape with their purchases intact as Frank Sinatra’s “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” plays over a background of gunfire and explosions. Read the full story

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CIA Secret Operation “Xbox 360 Fever” Underway to Topple Taliban


The CIA is mum on a new secret operation designed to take the Taliban out once and for all. The concept of Operation “Xbox 360 Fever” is based on this country’s own experience with realistic computer games. “It is mainly aimed at the male soldiers who know nothing but fighting since they were young,” said Lt. Col. Milton Bradley, no relation to General Omar Bradley. Read the full story

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Walmart Pulls “Rock Band – Def Leppard Edition” Over Missing Drum Stick


TEXARKANA, TX (GlossyNews) — Thousands of angry fans flooded the phone lines and email servers of MTV/Electronic Arts and its retailers with complaints over today’s release of the eagerly anticipated “Rock Band – Def Leppard Edition” game. The issue stems from a perceived design flaw in the drum kit. Read the full story

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Merry Bloody Christmas with Call of Duty, Modern Warfare


The long wait is finally over for video game aficionados and those chronically addicted and desperate to get their hands on a copy of Call of Duty : Modern Warfare Mk 2 – the festive season’s latest release for a Christmas Day surprise – Peace on Earth and Goodwill to all Men (apart from those nasty unwashed Muslim Jolly Jihadi scumbags and any other f*cker and their dog who we’ve decided to indiscriminately label enemies). Read the full story

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