Tag Archive | "sarah palin"

Palin Unstoppable in New York Pre-Election Win


ALBANY, NY — Professional Political Campaigner and Alaska’s Former Republican Governor Sarah Palin stacked up yet another pre-election win today against Less Formidable Republican Campaigner and Georgia’s Newt Gingrich in a state House seat battle where neither opponent resides — New York.

Palin campaign spokesperson Meg Stapleton’s spokesperson played Stapleton’s taped press statement of Palin’s hand-written statement. Read the full story

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Palin Insists on Keeping Media Wounds Open, Media Reciprocates


One-time underdog beauty pageant contestant and VP candidate Sarah Palin had a rocky, some might rightly say unfair, relationship with the media during her short-lived aspiration to the second-highest office in the land. Instead of simply promoting herself, she’s picking at fresh scabs earned in battle against the media, mainstream and otherwise, seemingly unaware that the media still holds the same worldwide sway they did during her storied run, and that they still don’t much care for her or her unusual antics. Read the full story

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God Answers McCain’s Prayers with Resounding “No”


God, highest imagined power in all the universe, perhaps best known as the creator of day and night, took a few minutes away from his daily chore of answering billions of prayers for wealth, fame and sexual partners to publicly address a persistent request from one of his most visible, though least faithful followers, John McCain. “No,” said God, with a chorus of angels in accompaniment. “I will not honor the requests of you or Sarah Palin. Sorry. I have bigger things to deal with and you should stop praying to me for this.” Read the full story

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