Word has it that old Beelzebub is furious these days over being blamed for everything from pictures of Lindsay Lohan’s hoohah to Anthony Weiner’s bulging BVD’s. He claims that he’s tired of being a catchall for mankind’s failure to control their sexual desires.

“Why is it when I open the paper and read yet another story about a well-liked politician who’s been caught with his hand in his drawers, there is always a reference to some kind of evil making them do it?” says Satan. Read the full story

Once news of a naval captain responsible for writing, filming and starring in raunchy videos broke on national news, opinions have emerged as to why he did it. While some naval personnel abhor his actions, many seamen who served under him are coming to his defense and calling him the best commanding officer they have ever had the pleasure of taking orders from. Read the full story

NIAGARA FALLS, N.Y. (Glossy News) — K. S. Trojan, famous author of “All Things Funny” is going after her alter ego for penning several pornographic poems without her knowledge or permission, and publishing them under the name Krazy K.

Asked how Ms. Trojan discovered the poems or learned that they were written by her alter ego, she merely stated that she found the poems hidden in a file in her word processing program, entitled “naughty bits.” When she opened one of them, Trojan could not believe her eyes. There in print were some of her deepest, darkest secrets — things only she could have known. Read the full story

Bob Crane was an American disc jockey and actor, best known for his performance as Colonel Robert E. Hogan in the television sitcom Hogan’s Heroes, which ran from 1965 to 1971. Crane appeared in a number of other career-crushing shows, including Police Woman, Quincy M.D., The Love Boat, and NBC’s short-lived The Bob Crane Show, which the network canceled after only three months. Read the full story

Charlie, a chimpanzee owned by animal psychologist Mary Lively, celebrated his 6th birthday by sending text messages on his very own laptop. The computer was specially designed for Charlie by Apeco Technologies at the urging of Lively after she had noticed that Charlie took an unusual interest in her computer while she did research. Read the full story