Fort Bragg, NC – (SatireWorld.com) – A white American couple gave birth to black baby boy in August at the Army hospital located in the sprawling Fort Bragg complex. The very surprised woman claimed she had become pregnant while watching a 3-D porno movie.
The child’s equally surprised father James Francis, a soldier who had been away for a year serving on a military base in Afghanistan, found the black baby at home when his unit cycled back to Fort Bragg in late October.
PHOTO INSERT: Both Sgt. Francis promises he’ll purchase a new VCR for his wife along with some vintage John Holmes tapes in Super VCS the next time he deploys!
“Hell yeah I was surprised when I walked through the door,” “says Francis who describes himself as a cool guy with a great sense of humor. “I thought it was just another practical joke like when I came back from Iraq in 2004 and my wife said she had AIDS and we couldn’t have sex.”
His wife Jennifer, age 38, told him the baby had been conceived while she had been watching a 3-D porno film in a local theater.
“I see no reason not to believe her as those 3-D movies are very lifelike these days. I mean, with the technology today, anything is possible,” said Sgt. Francis who registered the baby as his with local county officials.
Sgt. Francis said a name for the little boy was ‘still up in the air’ and they have considered ‘Howard’ or possibly ‘BankShot’.
Jennifer said she had gone to a porno cinema in New York City with her girl friends. She had only gone to see how a porno movie looked in 3-D. The child, she claimed, looked exactly like the black male lead in the film.
“A month after the movie I knew I was pregnant. I am going to sue the cinema and producers. Luckily, my husband believes me. It could have wrecked our marriage, but he knows I’m faithful to him.”
Her husband thinks she sat way too close to the screen and wants theater management to post warning signs in the future.