Tag Archive | "islam"

Islam and the Mystery of the “True” Liberal


Meet “Moderate” Muslim and “True” Liberal…

Or MM & TL, for short!

***

MM: Look, I don’t believe terrorists represent Islam, there are many things they do that contradict the Quran and Sunnah.

TL: No, you’re a “cherry picker”, accept that they’re following the “true” version of your religion. Read the full story

Posted in Human Interest, ReligionismComments (0)

Song Parody: Gimme Gimme Gimme Jihad After Midnight


Just past prayers
And I’m watching haram movies in my flat all alone
How I hate to make this Dua on my own
Howling winds
Blowing outside my bowels as I munch some shrooms
And it makes me really want to make a boom

My soul is nearly there
I grunt and offer up a prayer
I twitch my brow like Tony Blairrrrr!

Gimme gimme gimme jihad after midnight
Won’t somebody help me blast the kafrs away
Gimme gimme gimme jihad after midnight
End Satan’s reign of terror, begin the Caliphate’s day

Gimme gimme gimme jihad after midnight
Won’t somebody help me blast the kafrs away
Gimme gimme gimme jihad after midnight
I’m so sick of this oppression from the Jews and the gays Read the full story

Posted in Music, War ZoneComments (0)

Muslims Couldn’t Care Less About Trump’s Edgy Religious Conversions


Donald Trump has recently decided to further alienate Muslims by staging a controversial religious conversion.

Or rather, a whole sevenfold string of counterfeit conversions. However, his plan appears to have backfired.

Trump decided to convert to the Baha’i, Yazidi, Mandaean, Druze, Ahmadiyya Muslim, Zoroastrian and Babi faiths.

Read the full story

Posted in Politics, ReligionismComments (0)

Jesus Deplores Decline in his Social Mobility (1/2)


Jesus thinks his career has been on the slide for millennia (if not for eternity), and he’s just sick of it.

You know, I was once at the absolute top of the pile in the job market. Full-time Son of God.

Actually God.

But you know what? The higher you get, the further you fall. Now I’m starting to know how Wotan feels.

So how did I get to this dire state? Read the full story

Posted in Human Interest, ReligionismComments (0)

Pat Robertson: Gay Atheists are the Shocktroops of Iran


Pat Robertson is concerned at the mortal peril certain “bad folks” pose to people in the USA, and just this once, he’s not been shy to get to the root of the problem.

Now, listen carefully, my dear friends. If we are going to let all these, you know, these hooomoseeexual atheiiists, you know, if we tolerate them, let them work in our public facilities and business corporations….

Well, you’ve probably heard it before, but I’m gonna tell you, because it’s the truth, and it bears repeating. Read the full story

Posted in Religionism, TelevisionComments (0)

Stop Press! The REAL Reason Tom Cruise is Leaving Scientology


There’s a lot of talk about Tom Cruise leaving Scientology.

http://hollywoodlife.com/2015/07/01/tom-cruise-leaving-scientology-church-suri-cruise

But the media coverage thus far has been very selective.

So just this once, I’m going to have to use my imagination to plug the gap. Read the full story

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Top StoriesComments (0)

What Would Allah Do?


If the Shi’ites were fighting the Sunni’s what would Allah want?

He say for them to lay down their arms and realize that they are brothers of the same faith.

If a Moslem country’s leaders were demonizing other countries to make them look bad, what would Allah do?

He would say ”My children, look to your own lives and the ways to improve it. Do not cast your sight abroad to look for the sins your own soul reflects.” Read the full story

Posted in Religionism, Serious CommentaryComments (0)

A Prophet Versus Islamists? What Would Muhammad Say? (2/2)


Previously, as a non-Muslim, I raised the question of the distinction between a living letter and prophet, and a dead letter and prophet.

And I’m not so much attempting to intrude from the outside of Islam, to set a “program” or “plan” for the religion…

But I am raising some questions that are fairly broad in scope, and no doubt apply to other religions too. Read the full story

Posted in Human Interest, Opinon/EditorialComments (0)

A Prophet Versus Islamists? What Would Muhammad Say? (1/2)


Disclaimer: This is less “humorous” than my usual work (apart from some cheeky memes!), but is not intended as “po-faced” or “solemn.”

I’m not suggesting a program or plan for Muslims or non-Muslims, satirists or non-satirists.

I’m mainly trying to clarify my own thoughts to myself, posing some very current questions; hoping some individuals, (whoever you may be), may find these ideas intriguing, and worth reflecting upon. Read the full story

Posted in Human Interest, Opinon/EditorialComments (0)

Khomeinisexuality: Meet Iran’s Radical Love-Cleric (Part 2/69: Jizz be Upon Me)


Tribute

Encore une fois: this one’s for Charlie Hebdo. Nous sommes tous Charlie.

Ok, you’ve heard from the people men of wisdom; to wit, the only people who really understand enlightened fucking erudite fiqh rulings from the inside (pretty damn deep inside… and not just fiqh rulings!).

Yes: clearly, Ayatollah Khomeini either is more sexually enlightened than his depraved and despicable hell-bound haters previously thought… Read the full story

Posted in Human Interest, ReligionismComments (0)

Khomeinisexuality: Meet Iran’s Radical Love-Cleric (Part 1/69: Jizz Be Upon Him)


Tribute

This one’s for Charlie Hebdo. Nous sommes tous Charlie.

OK, we all know about the obviously malicious and unproven allegations of gratuitously gratifyingly enlightened fatwas on “I’m-a-sexin’ that damn fine chicken” that have been directed at Imam Love Doctor Friday Night Wonder AYATOLLAH Khomeini. Read the full story

Posted in Human Interest, ReligionismComments (0)

Extremist Group Exercises its Freedom of Religion on NAACP Building


A Montana neo-Nazi extremist organization, The Color White, Inc., claimed responsibility earlier today for the recent bombing of a building in Colorado Springs, owned by the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP).

The building, including the part rented to the popular barbershop Mr. G’s Hair Design Studios, suffered minor damage when a grenade detonated next to a portable kerosene tank, which did not explode during the attack. Read the full story

Posted in Crime, ReligionismComments (1)

ISIS Is Looking For A Few Screwed-Up Men………And Women


A Note From The Editor- Due to current difficult economic situations and due to pressure from First Amendment Rights groups Glossy News must unfortunately include ads in our article runs. These ads do not necessarily reflect the opinions and thoughts of Glossy News or its publisher.

It could, however, reflect not only the opinions but also the half-brained philosophy of some of our writers, many of whom I personally know to be Godless Communists and flipped out weirdos. It is with extreme trepidation that the following ad is presented: Read the full story

Posted in Religionism, Strange PeopleComments (0)

Israelis and Palestinians Finally Agree on Something… Unfortunately


The UN Council, sick of the never ending strife in Israel between the Jews and the Arabs, came up with a novel idea for mediating a lasting truce. They employed Buddhists to act as peacekeepers.

The Buddhist faith, probably among the most peaceful of any of the earthly religions, emphasizes tolerance, good will and understanding as its most important virtues.

The UN high council members thought that having Buddhist monks watching over the two Mid-east enemies might bring about the long sought after peace that the area had lacked for the last 70 years. Read the full story

Posted in Politics, War ZoneComments (0)

Study shows Men secretly Resent Women’s Phatness


Dateline: NEW YORK—Islamic states are infamous in the West for forcing women to wear burqas, since those outer garments obscure the shape of women’s bodies and are thus odious from a feminist standpoint. Defenders of the sexist laws typically resort to theological or moral rationales, none of which is found in the Quran.

But a team of researchers at NYU has published a study explaining the behaviour as the result of men’s surprising annoyance at women for being sexy and beautiful.
Read the full story

Posted in Religionism, ScienceComments (0)

Jihadist Gets The 72 Virgins That He So Richly Deserves


The Gates To Glory opened wide to accept young Jasheed as he entered the Jihadist Heaven he worked so hard to deserve.

His trainers had always indoctrinated him on the wonders that would await him there were he to prove himself to be a true fundamentalist patriot.

Now, his mission completed and multiple bodies torn apart by his suicide bomb including his own, he had now come to get his awards. Read the full story

Posted in ReligionismComments (0)

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