Tag Archive | "glenn beck"

Woods Chasing Beck in Lost Sponsor Race

FOXNEWDS Studios–NYC. — In a little noticed scenario in the celeb sweeps the recent Tiger girls-rush-to-claim-sex-with-me-first media circus has caused another celeb, Glenn Beck, to amp up his offensive abilities. Beck is reported as hiring a brace of new writers with the express purpose of besting Tiger and keeping the headlines at FocusOnMeGlennBeck.com. Read the full story


Posted in Celebrity GossipComments (3)

Woman Blames Glenn Beck Show for Aging Prematurely

Shelley Saround began noticing her hair going gray about a year ago at the age of 23. In just a few short months, she went from having a head of luxurious dark brown hair to looking like Grandmama on the Addams Family.

She went to the doctor when she started noticing that she was sprouting gray hairs on the top of her head, and the doctor asked her a series of questions like had she been under a lot of stress lately? Had she suffered any catastrophic news like a death in the family? Had someone scared the bejeezus out of her lately? Read the full story


Posted in HealthComments (6)

Glenn Beck’s Fragrance “Scent of Fear” Praised by Raving Reviews, Lunatics


Posted in Making HeadlinesComments (0)

Glenn Beck’s New Book: “Mama, I Spilled My Cocoa Puffs”

Yet another poignant reminder that Glenn Beck was born and lived to tell about it.

In “Mama, I Spilled My Cocoa Puffs,” Beck takes his readers back to a time when all there was for breakfast was cold cereal and a glass of tap water, but it was enough to sustain him until he got lunch in the school lunch line and then dinner back home at night. “It’s a story of courage,” says Beck. “When times seemed the darkest and I got smacked upside the head for spilling a bit of my cereal on the kitchen floor, it taught me how to mop…mop up my milk, mop up the table in front of me, mop up my tears and get on the school bus.” Read the full story


Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (16)

Ask Hank: Republicans = Swoony Churchgoers

Hey Hank,

It’s become a toss-up for me here and thought you could help out, if you want…
I am and have been an atheist for most of my life. I just can’t get into the whole swoony churchy thing.

But, I have become a rather confirmed political convert and want to get a job in the next political campaign.
I lean quite heavily to the right, so I need to know which church group would be the best for me to join up with –Mormon, Catholic, Baptist, Presbyterian? Are there others? Read the full story


Posted in SocietyComments (0)

Glenn Beck’s Daughter Sells Daddy’s Drool on E-Bay

Learning that his middle daughter was jonesing to go to Columbia University, Glenn Beck refused to pay for her tuition, stating “if you want to attend some hippie, liberal, communist center of lower learning in the middle of freaking Harlem, you won’t be doing it on my dime, sweetheart.” Read the full story


Posted in TelevisionComments (12)

Palin’s Book “Going Rogue” Defective, Recalled

HarperCollins has recalled all copies of Sarah Palin’s Book, “Going Rogue” and has agreed to refund the purchase price to anyone who wants it. According to a late-breaking press release, the title of the book is missing an extra word and no one caught it until now. The correct title of the book is “Going Rogue Hunting.”

A spokesperson for HarperCollins has indicated that this is one of the largest recalls ever in the publishing industry and agrees that “sometimes, just one misplaced or omitted word can really make a difference.”

HarperCollins expects to have corrected copies of the book ready for distribution within the next two weeks, and is offering an additional incentive to book owners to return the defective copies by offering a second book free, Glenn Beck’s “An Inconvenient Book.”


Posted in News In Your BriefsComments (1)

Tea Partying Like It’s 1929

“This bill is the greatest threat to freedom that I have seen in the nineteen years I have been here in Washington”
John Boehner
November 5, 2009

The greatest threat to freedom in nineteen years? Oh, dear! Read the full story


Posted in PoliticsComments (5)

Glenn Beck Show Saved By Good Ol’ Boy Advertisers

Glenn Beck is seeing his conventional ad revenues dry up due to his escalation of hate rhetoric, but the redneck community is coming to his aid to help keep him on the air. Read the full story


Posted in Biz News, Strange People, TelevisionComments (0)

Page 3 of 3123
Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --

Glossy News Fake Commercials!

Glossy News Podcast

(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)

More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial