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Barack Hussein Obama: Worst “American” Ever?

Barack Hussein Obama: Worst “American” Ever?

Sure, there is still healthy debate as to whether or not Barry “the rock” Barack Hussein Osama-Obama is really an American. History will surely judge that. But a bigger question is; is he the worst human being to ever step foot in these great American United States of ours.

Some would argue “no”, but they would also likely be the sorts who would tell you it’s okay for a man to marry a fish, steal guns away from law-abiding citizens, have babies with their fathers, and “live free.”

We took to the streets of Provo, Utah to get a fair, unbiased sample of what Americans think of president drone-strike.

“There’s rugs in the White House, right?” asked Marjorie Namewithheld. “How do we know they’re not Islam prayer rugs?” she rightly inquired, echoing the sentiments of so very many Americans.

“Worst American ever?” asked Jeremiah Waltersmithe, a walter smith from North Provo. “I guess since Hitler wasn’t American, then yeah.”

We skipped the answers from the next nine respondents before we got to Maribeth Mariples. “I think it’s clear the way he keeps adding more and more government jobs* that yes, he’s the worst.”

Asked to rank him compared to John Wilkes Boothe and Lee Harvey Oswald, she said, “Obama is the worst. Sham-wow guy second, all the Kardashians, then Boothe, then [the cast of] Will and Grace, Beth from church, Gavin Newsome, Lee Harvey [Oswald], all the people that watch Glee, Democrats, then Satan, tow truck drivers, collection agents and then people from the IRS.”

The evidence, while anecdotal at best, is clear, striking and undeniable. Several people from a large sample in an extremely red city believe Obama is the worst American ever, at least among those who believe he’s an American. This is proof conclusive.

Welcome to Obama’s America.

* Government jobs have actually shrunk under president Obama at a significant rate, though much of that is due to shrinking revenue in city, county and state budgets.


This post was written by

- who has written 265 posts on

Dexter Sinistri is a famously centrist writer who has worked as a Hollywood correspondent for a number of leading publications since 2005. Though once a photographer, Mr. Sinistri struck out as a writer on all things celebrity, and he likes to consider himself a tremendous asset to Glossy News, though by most accounts, he has fallen somewhat short of this effort.


3 Responses to “Barack Hussein Obama: Worst “American” Ever?”

  1. Rubey Markio says:

    Well first of all, everything said in the article is completely untrue.

  2. Ron J says:

    The prmise is flawed from the start. Wht the hell is happening around here? This certainly isn’t news. It barely qualifies as satire. I don’t get it.

  3. Tim Jones says:

    This is a very balanced and insightful article. Any president who fights for gun control, universal healthcare and the right for gays to marry can only be the spawn of Satan. Move over, Boston Strangler, Obama is unquestionably the most evil American in history – that is until Hillary is elected in 2016, of course.

    – Reverend Narrowmynde
    Jonesboro, Arkansas


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