Tag Archive | "glenn beck"

Senator Ted Cruz Mutilated by Radical Liberals


Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) was admitted to the Specialty Hospital Of Washington in Washington DC, missing his nose confirmed party spokeswoman Eileen Wright.

A visibly stunned Ms Wright kept shaking her head, but managed to tell reporters that earlier that evening Senator Cruz had a pimple develop on the edge of his nose, right by the nostril and we all know what an irritation that is, and panicked. Read the full story

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GlossyNews.com Is Under New Ownership


Effective as of midnight, GlossyNews.com is under new ownership. Editor Brian K. White has been relieved of his duties and a new editorial team will be shaping coverage from here out.

The sale had been in the works for some time. Media empire The Blaze Inc. is the purchaser, and while the sum paid is undisclosed, it is rumored to be in the four to five figure range. Read the full story

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Internets TubesComments (3)

More Americans Turning to Glenn Beck for the Truth


You may already know that Glenn Beck is handsome, charming and extremely intelligent, but did you know he also is the leading voice for many of America’s most lost and forgetten?

When the liberal media elite railroaded FOX News to take his wildly popular, amazingly informative show off the air, it had just begin to blossom. Well that show is still around, and countless Americans are still watching it. Read the full story

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Posted in Internets Tubes, TelevisionComments (5)

Government Admits Glenn Beck is Classified Experiment Gone Awry


UNSPECIFIED LOCATION–A rogue agent of a super classified top secret branch of the government (that some say was involved in the Roswell findings of ’47) has spoken with Iron E-News via pigeon and confirmed that American political commentator Glenn Beck was actually a highly classified government experiment gone awry. Read the full story

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Glenn Beck Saves TheBlaze by Not Offering Sarah Palin Job


God knows I love her, but we can’t have that kinda crazy around here ~ Glenn Beck

Glenn Beck says that when he heard Sarah Palin was leaving Fox News, he couldn’t have been happier.

“Now she will make something of herself, like I did,” he said proudly, adding “There is, after all, life after Fox.”

When Beck was fired from Fox back in the middle of 2011, many wondered if he’d ever recover from that mighty slap in the face by Roger Ailes. They aren’t wondering any longer, however. The answer is “No, he didn’t recover…yet.” Read the full story

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Donald Trump Puts Glass House on Market


Yet another indication that Donald Trump is absolutely serious about running for President is the fact that he has just listed his all-glass NY mansion for sale this weekend.

The home, a stunning 8 bedroom, 9-1/2 bathroom home is one of the most unusual homes in the older, reserved neighborhood of Old Wesbury, NY.

Boasting “more windows than a cathedral,” Trump is allegedly selling the property due to recent events that he says could very well bring harm to his property, a prediction made a long, long time ago by his grandmother. Read the full story

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Dennis Miller Offering Glenn Beck Sidekick Job


Dennis Miller always had aspirations of being the next Bill O’Reilly or “Billy” as he calls him, or the next Glenn Beck. But, even though he does have his own radio talk show, so far, it’s only gotten him a ticket as a guest wise ass on both of those shows. He wants to be in front of the cameras so bad he can taste it, and now that Glenn Beck is being forced from Fox News, he sees it as his big chance to get ahead in the business. Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, EntertainmentComments (33)

Glenn Beck Defeated by Boycott, Ratings, Sensibilities


Dramatic drops in ratings combined with a lack of any reputable (top-of-market-paying) advertiser willing to be part of his show have finally taken their toll on Glenn Beck and his FOXNews program.

Beck offered a rare olive branch, saying, “…I want to verify something that is true,” which marked a noted departure for Beck, who normally avoids verifying the truth, preferring only espouses crazy conspiracy theories and conspicuous product placement for his gold, seed and Armageddon survival oriented sponsors. Read the full story

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O’Reilly, Obama Find Common Ground; Glenn Beck is Nuts


President Obama sat down with Fox News Show host Bill O’Reilly in a rare and candid interview that touched on everything from the unrest in Egypt and how it should be handled, the economy and how to achieve a more stable union, and Obama’s thoughts on the 2012 elections. But it was Glenn Beck that really brought the two men together in a meeting of the minds. Read the full story

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Right Wingers Develop Wild West Show, Cirque du Sarah Style


In an effort to restore their public image after the shooting in Arizona and its aftermath, the Republican National Committee has put forth a proposal to produce a touring Wild West Show, starring leaders of the new conservative movement.

Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, and Rush Limbaugh have already signed on, with many more right-wing pundits and politicos expected to follow their lead. The tour is being funded by the Koch brothers and sponsored by Wal-Mart, the NRA, and Premiere Radio Networks. Toby Keith and Ted Nugent will headline the musical acts. Read the full story

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Palin’s Comeback Trail Begins in Nashville Booby Bar


Nashville, TN-After spending years exercising her First Amendment rights to encourage the murder of someone who wasn’t a “real American,” Sarah Palin’s media career has taken a turn for the worse after several real Americans were murdered by an anti-government kook.

The unflappable Palin, feverishly working on her big comeback, is working in a Nashville booby bar, the next stop after her recent spread in Hustler magazine, for which she was reportedly paid a whopping $127.50, which was about what Larry Flynt thought she was worth. Read the full story

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‘The Dick’ Cheney Gets Starring Role In ‘Dr. Strangelove’ Remake


Dick Cheney returns to the worlds spotlight this week as he appears in his first movie part–reprising the unforgettable Peter Sellers role of Dr. Strangelove in the remake of the Stanley Kubrik movie of the same name.

Sellers made cinematic history as the wheelchair-bound, ex-Nazi atomic physicist who has a problem trying to keep his right hand from making the famous “Heil Hitler” salute. Cheney, considered a natural for the role, is reported to have needed few acting lessons to ‘become’ Strangelove. Read the full story

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Fox: It’s OK for Beck to Say “Soros Helped Kill Other Jews”; MSNBC Agrees


But An Unforgivable, Atrocious Cardinal Sin For NPR To Fire Williams For Saying That He Was Afraid Of Muslims On Planes.

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Future Beck Rallies Banned from Lincoln Memorial… by Lincoln


WASHINGTON DC (GlossyNews) — Glenn Beck returned quietly late at night months after his famous speech at the Lincoln Memorial to gloat over his success. “I really had ‘em in the palm of my hand!” he snickered to himself. The empty hall echoed his laughter. Empty, that is, save for another set of footsteps approaching. Read the full story

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Obama’s Sainthood Measure Stalls at The Vatican


Vatican City (GlossyNews.com) – Monsignor Alda Frattelli has responded to tabloid claims that the proposed Sainthood for American president, Barack Obama, has been tabled for now and his Holiness will review it in about ten or twenty years.

“Yes, that is true. The Holy See has decided to review it at a much later date to see if Mr. Obama can pull off a few extra miracles besides the one of himself getting elected.” Read the full story

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Glenn Beck, Charles Manson Powwow on How to Start a Race War


Witnesses claim a shadowy figure identified as Fox News agitator, professional racist, Tea Party provocateur and self-anointed Godsend, Glenn Beck, was seen moving in and out of the visitation chambers of Corcoran State Prison recently. The target of his attention? None other than 75 year old serial killer and 60’s counterculture hero Charles Manson, or “Ol’ Koo Koo” as he is affectionately known by other inmates. Tawdry Soup was lucky enough to get an exclusive interview with the time-stopping psychedelic psycho to find out, “What’s Up?” It went like this: Read the full story

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