Tag Archive | "gay"

God to Withhold Prayer Requests From Cor Jesu High School Administrators Since Firing of Gay Teachers


ST. LOUIS – Explaining that he had, “literally no idea what they were thinking,” deity of the Catholic Church and contributing author Yahweh said in a press release he would no longer be accepting prayer requests from officials at Cor Jesu Academy in reaction to their firing of two homosexual teachers.

“I’m sorry, I really am, but I just can not, in good conscious, continue to cure the sick, pick winning lottery numbers, and alter the outcome of sporting events if the request comes from members of such an institution. These sanctions are both warranted and necessary.” Read the full story

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St. Louis Rams Cut Michael Sam for Being “Not Gay Enough”


ST. LOUIS – In a statement released today by St. Louis Rams Head Coach Jeff Fischer, defensive end Michael Sam did not make the latest round of roster cuts because of his apparent lack of homosexual tendencies.

“Honestly, as a team, we wanted to show the world that the National Football League was ready for an openly gay player,” said Fischer.

“But with a less-than-expected amount of what one would consider ‘typical gay behavior,’ Michael Sam just was not our guy.” Read the full story

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Posted in Sports, SportsfolkComments (1)

Duck Dynasty’s Robertson Slams Gay Footballer Michael Sam


There were plenty of tears flowing when Michael Sam, the first openly gay football player, was drafted Saturday afternoon in the 7th round by the St. Louis Rams.

RIGHT: Phil Robertson and his latest duck call. (CLICK TO ENLARGE.) Image appears courtesy of Steve Ryan at ElectricUnderpants.com.

Some were tears of joy for Sam historically breaking the rainbow colored ceiling and achieving diversity in a macho sport like football, but some were tears of sorrow for the direction even the NFL is taking in an era of inclusiveness and acceptance of the LGBT community. Read the full story

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Media Hungry Johnny Manziel says, “I’m Gay Too”


Not to be shown up in this year’s NFL’s draft, Johnny Manziel, aka Johnny Football has announced that he’s gay too.

After the media frenzy over the St. Louis Rams drafting the first openly gay football player Michael Sam, Manziel attempted to grab back the spotlight by screaming to the presses, “I’m gay too!” while dining out with a beautiful brunette whom he claimed was his sister and definitely not one of his many alleged girlfriends. Read the full story

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Gay Duck Porn Found on Phil Robertson’s Hard Drive


Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson may not condone human homosexuality, but a recent reveal of the contents of his personal computer exposes his fascination with homosexual behavior in the animal kingdom, particularly in the duck species.

The hacker group Anonymous recently unveiled the Dynasty star’s peccadillo for unconventional forms of sex after the controversial star came under fire for comparing human homosexuals to drunkards, terrorists, and prostitutes. Read the full story

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Gay Muslim Arrested for “Loving Mohammed”


RIYADH – An openly gay Muslim has been arrested by religious police for professing his desire to “make love” with the prophet Mohammed.

According to eyewitness reports, Omar al-Haard was accosted by thirty police officers after being caught in a major city square singing about his intentions towards the prophet, who is both reviled and adored in different parts of the world. Read the full story

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God Gay


In a stunning revelation that is set to turn the Christian world on its head, Almighty God has admitted that He is a homosexual.

The Lord Above also talked at length about the “steamy and tumultuous relationship” He has had with another male deity over the past 1,462 years, but would not be drawn on His lover’s identity.

The news will come as an enormous blow to a large sect of the Christian faith, who regard homosexuality as a mortal sin – something that God Himself was quick to refute in an emergency address to His believers this morning. Read the full story

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Conservative: It’s What Smart Gays, Blacks and Young Are Voting


Liberal Bastion Americans For Prosperity has a new study out, and it proves what real Americans have known for some time; smart people from all walks of life plan to vote conservative.

“[Conservative] is just where it’s at,” said gay, African-American atheist William Grean. “Their values and priorities just align better with what we believe in.” Read the full story

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A.D.A. Gaydar Fingers Fluoridation


CHICAGO – The American Dental Association today announced a reversal of its longstanding position on municipal water fluoridation. For over 65 years, fluoride has been recognized by the ADA as an effective prophylactic in the fight against cavities.

But recent research may have identified an alarming side effect associated with using such a substance in drinking water systems. Read the full story

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16 Year Old Cambridge, MA, Girl Hates Being a Hoar


16-year-old Samantha Hoar (pro: Whore) told her parents today that she hates her name and wants to change it to something with less social stigma. Her wealthy parents refused her request.

“The Hoars helped build this country,” said her father Richard Hoar, Esq. of the law firm Hoar & Hoar. “If she doesn’t like being a Hoar then she will have to wait until she’s legal age before she can change it!” Read the full story

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Prop 8 SCOTUS Vote Jerks GOPTea© Full Circle


WASHINGTON DC —GlossyNews There’s a small but rising fear in some GOPTea© circles that if SCOTUS agrees that California’s Prop 8 is unconstitutional, Romney will lose a very effective rallying point for evangelical conservatives. Read the full story

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Sweden says Don’t say Boy


Sweden’s Director of Pre-school Schools announced this week a revolutionary new program for Americans to laugh at. Dr. Sven Frrrdegard spoke to reporters at Stockholm’s Ministry for Education.

“As the world’s only industrialized nation not headed for bankruptcy, we Swedes are keenly aware of our leadership responsibilities. We will not shirk our duty when it falls upon us to address humanity’s most pressing problem; gender stereotyping.” Read the full story

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GOP Debate in Review: Come for the Crazy, Stay for the Crazy (6 of 7)


DE BATE, NEW HAMPSHIRE —BobZaguy We’re now six-days in on our review of the recent GOP freak show debate. We’re covering seven of the leading Republican Partiers present at the debate in New Hampshire.

This recap is intended for those who tried to stay awake for the whole time, but just couldn’t do it. It’s also for anyone who didn’t watch who needs the skinny on what went down. Read the full story

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San Francisco Announces 100% Homosexuality Milestone


SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. (GlossyNews) — The San Francisco City Council held a prime time press conference yesterday evening to announce some groundbreaking news for the inhabitants of the City by the Bay: “Our citizens now self-identify as 100 percent gay.”

The last registered heterosexual in the city moved out on October 30th, helping the coastal region of Northern California achieve its long-awaited milestone of developing the first major metropolitan area in the country with a completely gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender population. Read the full story

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Noted Anthropologist – Early Man “Flintstone” was Homosexual


Sure, you remember him. Yes, that adorable Fred Flintstone wearing his cave man outfit of an animal skin over one shoulder and hanging around with best friend Barney Rubble.

The Flintstones were the modern age vision of a Stone Age family. Residing in the fictitious town of Bedrock, Fred Flintstone worked an unsatisfying quarry job on top of a dinosaur steam-shovel, for a bad-guy boss who squandered his labor to enhance his luxury cave on Knob Hill. But each evening Fred returned home to his lovely wife Wilma and eventually daughter Pebbles. Read the full story

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UK Govt Report: 9 Out of 10 Males Are Gay, or Plan to Be


BIRMINGHAM, United Kingdom (GlossyNews) — By all accounts Treavor Slaughter should be an a ladies man with girls rushing up to him every moment as he enters his first year in the university….But things are different today in the UK. Treavor has decided to enroll in the new George Michael’s School of Advanced Faggotry.

Today, this is not an isolated incident, and Treavor is not alone. In fact, the Labour Party enlisted the help of a renowned third-party research think-tank to examine the current state of male sexuality in the UK. The finds were startling and sobering….A full 90% of British males are gay or profess a desire to be gay in the near future! The other 10% live in Scotland! Read the full story

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