Tag Archive | "Channel 77 News"

Group Stages Naked Protest Against Naked Protests


Todays Breaking News: a group of women from Latvia have launched a naked protest against the global outbreak of naked protests, I assure you there is a lot of information to go with this story, but right now I am finding it very ‘hard’ to concentrate.

The story is still developing, the protest has attracted a lot of spectators, but i am not sure they are very interested in the subject because most of them appear to be playing with something in their pockets. Read the full story

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Large Hadron Collider ‘Not Taken Over By Sinister Villain Who Plans To Take Over The World’


Breaking News from Switzerland today, the Swiss Government are under scrutiny after an inside source leaked that Large Hadron Collider nicknamed ‘The Black Hole Generator’ by cyber geeks with no life, may have been ‘acquired’ by the power hungry megalomaniac Dr Apocalypse.

The world’s largest and highest-energy particle accelerator in the hands of such a man could spell the end for humanity as we know it. Read the full story

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Every Breaking World Event To Be Sponsored By Pizza Hut


As part of a new global marketing deal, Pizza Hut will sponsor every major event that happens in next 25 years, including: the Tuscani Creamy Chicken Alfredo Arab Spring, the Ultimate Cheese Lover’s Large Hadron Collider and the Buffalo Burnin’ Hot Fiscal Cliff.

It turns out there’s more at the Hut than dipping sauce. There’s serious fiscal concerns, assuming you have more than $24.47, which if you’re reading this, you almost surely do not. Read the full story

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North Korean Soccer Punishment ‘Excessive’


After being knocked out of the World Cup, North Korea took unique approach to improve their teams performance, which has been criticized as a punishment and branded ‘excessive’, spec “ifically by “sports pussies.”

When our source in North Korea asked the coach why he used such excessive methods, he was forced to run laps around the field with a bag of rocks on his back and four metric pounds of gravel in his shorts, but with no explanation how to convert pounds to metric. Read the full story

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Fukushima Scientists Dismiss Sightings Of Fire-Breathing Iguanadon


A group of scientists at the Fukushima Nuclear Reactor have angrily denied recent sightings of a 700-foot fire-breathing iguanadon, though they refused to do so on-the-record, leading to further speculation that the monster is very much real.

Scientists at the lab say that the allegations are just a scare mongering tactic. These are also the same scientists who mong three-eyed fish and glowing ground vermin, so they’re testimony is necessarily tempered. Read the full story

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Chad Not On Google Maps Due To ‘Lack Of Any Discernable Land Features’


The country of Chad is in an uproar over being missed out completely on the well known Google Maps app, saying that it is an ‘outrage’.

A Google spokesman was quick to defend his company’s inability to represent any part of the central African country, given the fact ‘there’s nothing ***king there’.

Other African Nations were quick to step up in defense of Chad including the one to the north of it, and a couple to the west along the coast. Maybe Ivory Coast or Liberia, but who can be sure. I mean, really, it’s (central?) Africa. Read the full story

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Video NewsComments (0)

Man Upset After House Built In Shape Of Toilet


A man in South Korea comes home to find that his dream home has been made into a nightmare, which brought a whole new meaning to the saying “throwing money down the toilet.”

This house, while obviously absurd in shape, is still an architectural wonder. It’s pretty magnificent, and the majority of humans can connect with it, so in that regard alone it’s pretty good.

For more on the story we go to our location correspondent Bob Hunter.

See the rest of the story on YouTube, or scroll down for the video.

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Posted in Human Interest, Video NewsComments (0)

‘Serial Killer Supermarket’ Draws Controversy


A Cambodian chain of supermarkets has come up with an ingenious idea to deal with the countries massive population and turn a profit, but the new out of the box idea has been raising a few eyebrows and other facial hair pieces.

You didn’t hear wrong, but you also didn’t hear right. This is an actual thing, and while we’re not sure what it is will certainly not deter us from reporting on it, and ad naseum at that. Just for good measure.

The story is still developing, but it is said that ‘serial killer’ has become the most sort after occupation in Cambodia, people are dying for the opportunity.

See the rest of the story on YouTube, or scroll down for the video.

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Posted in Crime, Video NewsComments (3)

Over 86% Of Statistics Are Confusing Say 44% Of Public


A report from the National Research Center reveals that 44% of the public are confused by 86% of statistics published. The vast array of statistics being brought up has generated mass public confusion.

Many modern structures are built, not out of dung, industrial waste and random bits of minerals found along the roadside, but actual constructions materials, thus proving the North Korea is the greatest country that has ever existed, all hail to the pudgy triumvirate.

For more on this breaking news we head to the studio, where 100% facts are generated.

See the rest of the story on YouTube, or scroll down for the video.

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Kim Jong-Il ‘Completes Death Star’


According to North Korean propaganda, Kim Jong-Il has achieved every Star Wars fan boys wet dream and finished his “Death Star” and claims it is ‘now fully operational’.

Our source in North Korea report that ‘Talks of an attack have already begun, Kim Jong-il has already been fitted for his black cape, he is just waiting for his perspiration lenses to be put in his limited edition Darth Vadar helmet he got off Ebay.’

See the rest of the story on YouTube, or scroll down for the video.

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