Following the lead of Brock Turner on how to rape someone and not get caught, fellow misunderstood master (alleged) criminals Bill Cosby and O.J. Simpson are to make a campus tour lecturing the serial killer community on how not to get in trouble.
Grinning ear to ear and clasping O.J. by the shoulders, prominent crime-time celebrity Bill Cosby guffaws:
The rule of law must be upheld.
Any time anyone sees you rape or kill someone, it just has to go to court.
So, the best way to preserve the rule of law is to make your those bitches don’t know SHIT about what you’re doing! Now ain’t that so, brother?
Looking daggers at the flippant comments of the second most beloved serial rapist ‘Bill’ in the USA, O.J. grimly murmured:
Here are three things you can do to solve the problem of serial killing.
Number 1, make sure you gag ’em good, so they can’t scream nothing.
Number 2, make sure you maintain good relations with the local policing, judicial, legal and business communities. If you ever do find yourself unjustly accused, make sure you know what’s what.
Number 3, keep your nose clean. I mean, personally I’ve never killed anyone, nor has Bill. But one of my friends told me it’s very useful to not do or say anything that gives the merest cause for suspicion.
Maybe have a nice, family-friendly secondary career on the side, to lull people into a f… into a TRUE sense of security.
Just a quick point to remind everyone:
Establishment Democrats warn if there is violence against a woman, the woman should be believed. Please remember that.