Tag Archive | "barack obama"

Obama Expresses Concerns Over CERN Collider Making Black Ho’s


Science, especially sub-particle acceleration, is not one of President Obama’s strong points, and coupled with a familiar slang term often used on inner city streets, it wasn’t long before a public speaking engagement would go wrong and embarrass the Administration.

Just this past week, the politically beleaguered US President spoke before a large audience at the International Science Center, making what appeared to be an educated political statement about science and the new International CERN Particle Accelerator in Switzerland. Read the full story

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Glenn Beck Audience at Record Levels – Liberals Stunned


The highly viewed FOX television show The Glenn Beck Show has surged upward in viewership the last few weeks with the media industry Nomitron Ratings at an unheard of 9.4 high. The only other broadcast to hit anywhere near this mark was Kennedy’s assassination, the moon landing in 1969, and Princess Diana’s death, and of course the pilot episode of the 1983 miniseries “V”, which had a 22 share. Read the full story

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New Leak Linked to BP


ROSWELL, New Mexico (GlossyNews) — In his harshest stance yet, President Barack Obama has demanded flailing petroleum giant BP establish yet another $20B set-aside to address more leak damage. At issue is the recent Wiki-leaks release of 91,000 classified documents, considered highly toxic by most defense analysts.

Said White House spokesman Robert Gibbs, “This thing undeniably looks like BP. It’s of unprecedented proportions, politically inconvenient, and clean-up will be a nightmare. So who do you think did it? A leak of these dimensions can only mean BP has failed to follow adequate safety procedures, yet again.”

Though in a leadership transition, BP was quick to respond on this latest disaster. Read the full story

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GOD: HUMANITY CURSED BECAUSE OF PACT MADE WITH PAT ROBERTSON


THE HEAVENS – In a rare public announcement, God Himself admitted today that Pat Robertson, who by all rights should have choked to death long ago on his own venomous rhetoric, continues to exist at His whim as an object lesson intended to teach humans not to tolerate bigoted, ranting nutjobs.

Robertson’s most recent tirade attributing a devastating 7.0 earthquake to a pact made between Satan and the entire island nation of Haiti seems to have precipitated the enlightening declaration made by the Almighty. Read the full story

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President Obama Set to Renew Inaugural Vow


WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an effort to revive his flagging presidency, Barack Obama plans to renew his oath of office in a special bipartisan ceremony to be held at the Washington Monument early this spring. Falling somewhere between a full-blown inaugural parade and a pander-to-the-base campaign rally, President Obama’s vow renewal is designed to assure the American public that he is not about to become the next Jimmy Carter. Read the full story

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Senator Introduces Bill to Name Feb 29 Barack Obama Day


In a move to recognize the strides America has made in electing its first African American to the highest public office in the land, Senator Shirley Wynott (D-Id) has introduced a bill that would make every February 29 “National Barack Obama Day.”

Never in the history of the United States has a standing President been honored in such a way by having a day named after him while still living and while still in office. In introducing the legislation, Ms. Wynott stated that she got the idea after hearing that President Obama was the recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize last year. Read the full story

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Obama & His Merry Men Seek to Shake-Down Wall Street


The White House has leaked what costumes the Obamas will be wearing at the annual White House Halloween Ball. The President has chosen to be Robin Hood, and Mrs. President will become Maid Marian. The theme for the ball this year will be “Sherwood Be Nice to Make Everyone Happy.” Read the full story

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Obama Schools Speech Fiasco Amuses Kids


President Barack Obama has delivered a junior State of the Nation speech to American schoolchildren, broadcast live to classrooms across the entire good ole US of A – from kindergarten age to upper high school grades. Read the full story

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Kennedy to Achieve Health Care Reform from Grave


Washington — Washington Post Associate Editor Bob Woodward reports that the Obama Administration plans to use the death of Senator Ted Kennedy to fast-track its health care reform measure now languishing in Congress. Read the full story

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