Here’s a quick guide to how the First Family has changed… between the Obamas and the Trumps!
Posted on 16 November 2016.
Posted on 25 September 2016.
The wicked depravity of the evil, dictatorial socialist regime of Barack Hussein Obama knows no bounds. If you’ve been reading the news recently, we’re pretty sure you won’t have heard jack shit about the recent plot to confiscate your Polaroid sunglasses!
Why? Because the PURE EVIL ESTABLISHMENT MSM haven’t said a single word about it! Any ideas why that might be?
Hint-hint. Read the full story
Posted on 15 November 2014.
Barack Obama has reportedly done a complete about face. Having encountered widespread criticism for the tough stance he took in his post-electoral press conference, the President has decided to take a more conciliatory approach with his Republican opponents.
“I’m really sorry about last Wednesday,” said Obama.
“The fact of the matter is I inadvertently switched speech texts and mistakenly brought along part of one about dealing with terrorists to the press conference.” Read the full story
Posted on 15 August 2014.
Obama has issued an executive order to block salaries to Republican Congressmen. They responded by saying “They would impeach his black ass”.
Democratic Congressmen have hailed this as the best step Obama has taken so far. This said, Republican Congressmen ended up better off than they were. Read the full story
Posted on 03 August 2014.
Just when you’ve seen enough out of the Malaysian people, this crazy stuff happens.
Malaysian Airline MH17 was shot down, forced to make a crash landing in the Ukraine, killing off passengers by the dozens. It’s a surprise no middle eastern extremists tried applying for a job, knowing they always have the tendency of crashing planes into stuff. Read the full story
Posted on 28 July 2014.
Mr. Piggy Adam Richman, a titty overweight eater, who had his very own show on the Travel Channel mocked his “critics” by posting a comment, “Grab a razor blade and draw a bath.”
He later went on to apologize and calm the tits out of everyone before he went to panic mode. The stunt surprised everyone, given the fact that Adam only eats when he’s mad. Putting a comment such as may as well saved his life from another heart attack. Poor fatty. Read the full story
Posted on 03 June 2014.
Washington, D.C. – Most people consider the Boston Red Sox trade of future baseball god Babe Ruth for a cash loan to finance the No, No, Nanette musical to be the worst trade of all time. But No, No, Nanette, we have a new winner.
Over the weekend, President Obama approved the trade of a captured war deserter who may have become radicalized by our enemy in exchange for five known, high-ranking terrorists so they can get back on the battlefield again. Read the full story
Posted on 23 April 2014.
Announcer: With everyone discussing ObamaCare, Dick and Janey, talk show hosts of Yucky World, will be interviewing the President about his latest health care plan.
Janey: Welcome, Mr. President.
Obama: Thank you, Janey.
Dick: So what are you planning on getting wrong this time, Mr. President?
Janey: Dick, please! Show a little respect!
Obama: That’s okay. I’m used to hearing stuff like that from the troglodytes at Fox News, but even Dick might like my latest idea.
Obama: It’s called the Adorable PetCare Act. By executive order, I’m going to provide health care for all our nation’s pets.
Dick: Does that include moose?
Obama: You have a moose for a pet?
Dick: Not yet…but I’m thinking about it. I’m a big Bullwinkle fan.
Janey: Sure, Dick. Have you learned anything from your ObamaCare mistakes?
Obama: Definitely! This time I’m not making promises I can’t keep. When I announce the plan later this week, I will say, “If you like your pet, you can keep your pet. Asterisk.”
Dick: Asterisk! What’s that for?
Obama: It covers any future changes I may have to make in the plan.
Dick: You know, the Constitution’s only been amended 27 times in over 200 years, but you’ve already made over 30 changes in ObamaCare.
Obama: I’m surprised you can count that high, Dick.
Janey: He had some trouble when he ran out of toes.
Dick: You said that people who help folks to sign up for ObamaCare do “God’s work”. What about those who lost their health care?
Obama: I blame those insurance devils!
Dick: You sure it wasn’t Bush’s fault?
Obama: Not this time. The devil was in the details. We’re thinking about an exorcism.
Dick: Ooh-kay. Isn’t the PetCare Act just another example of you using your pencil and phone to go around Congress?
Janey: Dick, he actually said pen.
Obama: Strangely enough, Dick’s more right than wrong. I’m asking Congress to write all future laws in pencil so that way it’ll be easier for me to change them.
Dick: Thank God the Constitution was written in ink!
Obama: That’s where the phone comes in handy. I used it to order a case of Whiteout.
Janey: Have you made any other important calls?
Obama: I did phone Senator Reid.
Obama: The Senator is upset with the IRS. Apparently he still hasn’t received his 10% reward for turning in Gov. Romney in 2012 for not paying taxes for the previous 10 years.
Dick: I guess Dirty Harry made an offer that the IRS could refuse.
Obama: I told the Senator I’d look into it, but, as I’ve said before, there’s not a smidgen of corruption at the IRS.
Dick: Tell that to the pro-marriage group that had its donors’ list leaked by the IRS.
Obama: Even if that’s true, it’s probably just an iota which is a lot less than a smidgen.
Dick: Weasel words!
Obama: Yeah, well, I hate to tell you this, Dick, but weasels aren’t covered under the PetCare Act!
Janey: Can you tell us some of its other provisions?
Dick: Yeah! Like will there be free contraceptives for our pets?
Obama: We’re thinking more like mandatory neutering.
Dick: But if you neuter all our pets, eventually there won’t be any left.
Dick: There goes Bullwinkle, Jr.
Obama: This provision will also decrease income inequality!
Obama: Since poor people spend a greater percentage of their income on their pets than the rich do, eliminating pets will reduce the gap between the rich and the poor.
Janey: What are you planning on doing once you leave the White House?
Obama: Actually, I’m thinking about running for a third term.
Dick: But…but the Constitution limits you to just two.
Obama: Only until my case of Whiteout is delivered.
Posted on 09 April 2014.
It was early spring of 2014 when the savior of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, was enjoying his three course meal in complete tranquility, an annual source of food considered by his people.
To everyone’s surprise, later that day, it was established that their royalty and highness had been diagnosed with severe breast cancer.
Military leaders proposed for him to consider launching a nuclear warning, something to frighten enemy countries, but not really do anything else because they were “so messed up economically and ideologically”. All military leaders that agreed with the statement were later executed for treason. Read the full story
Posted on 29 January 2014.
On Tuesday night, President Barack Obama gave his 5th State of the Union address. It was a mixed bag, if you ask anyone who was listening. As usual, Obama failed in his attempt to bring the country to a closer understanding of each other. The GOP response to the SOTU address proved that point.
Putting up a woman to do a man’s job was a ploy the GOP is good at, and they didn’t disappoint this time either. Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers of Washington state delivered the counter-punch to the collective Obama gut Read the full story
Posted on 13 October 2013.
WASHINGTON D.C. – During a joint televised address designed to highlight the special relationship between the United States and Great Britain Wednesday, it was revealed to the American public that the Prime Minister of The United Kingdom is not, in fact, Tony Blair anymore.
Standing alongside President Obama on the White House lawn, the largely unrecognizable figure of “David Cameron” talked at length about the coordinated American/British strategy in Afghanistan, as viewers at home tried to work out what the heck happened to “that Blair guy.” Read the full story
Posted on 16 May 2013.
President Obama defended today his administration’s response to the Benghazi terror attack as a car bomb explosion killed several people near a Benghazi hospital.
“Nobody understood exactly what was taking place during the course of those first few days” Obama said of last year’s attack on the U.S. Embassy in Benghazi as the blast today left at least nine dead, including two children.
His remarks were in response to recent hearings conducted by the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, which began investigating the attack in October of 2012, around the time four bombings killed 15 in Pakistan, 8 in Beirut, 24 in southern Yemen, and 19 in Afghanistan’s northern Balkh Province. Read the full story
Posted on 15 April 2013.
Paris and Washington have become embroiled in scandal after a set of romantic correspondences between presidents Francois Hollande and Barack Obama were leaked to the press.
The letters detail a passionate, and at times even steamy fusion of love across the Atlantic, the softer moments balanced with lamentations over politics, life, and tapioca pudding.
In a message dating January 17, Hollande writes:
Oui, oui, you devilishly strong black man. Your gun control makes me say oui, although there should be guns between us. But just two.
On January 31, Obama responds:
Franci your balding head and luminous brain are a brilliant testament to progress in this bigot-full, conservative world. Let us run to Haiti, where I shall bathe forever in the unwashed fumes of your arms, each deodorant-free minute like a drop from Heaven.
In Obama’s letter reporters also found a picture of the two world leaders cuddling in the Oval Office, with a caption by America’s leader reading, “You make me want to be a real socialist.”
Reactions to the romantic exchanges have been mixed. Ted Haggard admitted he was troubled after getting news of the relationship, but feels it is something that needs to be accepted. “What really matters is that they are strong, presumably bisexual men,” he said.
Speaking on behalf of the Tea Party, Sarah Palin noted that “Obama’s romance with another socialist president is a direct threat to Israel’s national security. It is time the Republican House votes to remove him from office.”
The White House offered no comment, falling in line with the Élysée Palace response to press inquiries.
Sources say Michelle Obama is furious, however.
Posted on 01 April 2013.
Sure, there is still healthy debate as to whether or not Barry “the rock” Barack Hussein Osama-Obama is really an American. History will surely judge that. But a bigger question is; is he the worst human being to ever step foot in these great American United States of ours.
Some would argue “no”, but they would also likely be the sorts who would tell you it’s okay for a man to marry a fish, steal guns away from law-abiding citizens, have babies with their fathers, and “live free.” Read the full story
Posted on 31 March 2013.
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an effort to meet the growing diversity of the nation, the Department of Justice has announced changes to physical requirements for FBI special agents which will replace regular running with power walking.
Current requirements for selection make applicants run 1.5 miles in under 11 minutes. Under the new plan, one who can power walk the same distance in approximately an hour will be considered equally capable. Read the full story
Posted on 07 February 2013.
As Thomas Jefferson looks down from his cloudy suite in heaven, he must be exceedingly proud of UVA for its latest attempt at breaking the status quo in popular trends.
According to a poll released Sunday morning, Board of Visitors Rector Helen Dragas is the University’s Most Admired person, with 70 percent of the student body giving her their support. Read the full story
All of Our Categories:Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial