Tag Archive | "1st Amendment"

Entire Glossy News Team Arrested On False Prostitution Charges (2)


-Peter, great loyalty demands great sacrifice

As you found out last time, the entire Glossy News team has been arrested on fake charges for prostitution…

Although a certain informer called Wallace Runnymede (who shall remain anonymous, in order to have evade having the crap beaten out of him by his erstwhile peers, as some have framed it)…

But yes, His Most Exalted Shit-Stirriness has traded security for liberty by making a sneaky plea bargain, in order to dump the other guys in it.

… Oh come on, don’t be so judgmental! Read the full story

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Posted in Entertainment, Strange PeopleComments (2)

Entire Glossy News Team Arrested On False Prostitution Charges (1)


The End of The Truth?

Glossynews, as you all no doubt agree (merely because WE say so; reason enough, right?!), is the single most… sorry, the SINGLE AND SOLE respected media outlet in the world.

Well, in a world filled with MSNBC Socialist/Liberal-Corporatist agitprop and the South-Park- Libertarianism/Beltway-Market-Hipsterism of Fox News, it’s clear that there’s only one game in town.

Only one place can be trusted to mingle “the truth” (whatever the Hell that means) with an immaculately noble Socratic “lie” (or as we prefer to call it, telling “the people” what “they” want to hear). Read the full story

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NRA Head Wayne LaPierre As A Child Was A Real Monster


A recent biography of NRA Fuhrer Wayne LaPierre shows light on his character that reveals why he is so rabid on the topic of guns and their control.

The new book entitled ‘LaPierre- Assault Mouth’, contains the following passages:

RIGHT: AP image by doctored by Dan Casey.

Chapter 2, page 32, describes a shrieking 6 year old LaPierre running rampant with a scissors in his hand. His teacher, Maura Tarala, trying to take it from him, suddenly found she had a miniature Tasmanian Devil on her hands. Read the full story

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North Carolina Cracks Down on Plumber’s Crack


State representatives of North Carolina have introduced a bill that, if passed, would “clarify” an already existing state law to prohibit the display of butt cracks.

The proposed legislation, House Bill (_!_), would make it a Class Preparation H felony to expose “the area beginning at the intersection of the sagittal and transverse planes on the human back extending downward to the perineum, or any portion of the interglutial cleft thereof.” Read the full story

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Unphotogenic Cops Pushing ‘No Filming Police’ Legislation


The Chicago Supreme Court has struck down a plea from attorneys hoping to ban citizens from filming police officers in public because being on camera is making many unphotogenic cops feel really uncomfortable.

The decision came after judges decided that the filming of police by citizens was protected under the first amendment, regardless of whether or not those in uniform were self-conscious about their physical appearance. Read the full story

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MSNBC, CNBC Threaten Lawsuit Against Palin


Threatening the first ever lawsuit of its kind, two major media outlets, MSNBC and CNBC are kicking around the idea of asking a Federal Judge to decide if Palin is required under the 1st Amendment to issue free press passes to her upcoming March 12 speech at the Rosen Shingle Creek Resort in Orlando, FL. Read the full story

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