Categorized | Sports, Sports Events

Crash Kills IndyCar Racer, Leaves Car in Critical Condition

Crash Kills IndyCar Racer, Leaves Car in Critical Condition

LAS VEGAS – The world of racing is left to reflect after a multiple-car crash in Las Vegas killed famed driver Dan Wheldon and left his racing vehicle in a “serious condition.”

The accident involved 15 other drivers, whose vehicles are said to be in stable conditions.

Former 2-time Indy 500 winner Wheldon was later pronounced dead in hospital, while his racing car is fighting for its life after suffering multiple injuries, including 3 ruptured tires, a dislocated steering wheel and a damaged suspension. IndyCar servicemen have transported it to an engineering plant, where its progress is “being monitored”.

“The car is undergoing intensive treatment at this time”, said mechanic David Ward. “We are preparing to perform a battery transplant as well as a crucial operation on its engine to reduce internal petrol loss”.

Members of the Bryan Herta Autosport team, to whom Wheldon was signed, have chosen to stay by the vehicle’s side, while the team’s distraught sponsors have been told to prepare for the possibility that the car may never fully recover from its horrific injuries.

In the event of its death, the car is expected to be buried at a local scrap yard before returning to life 2 years later in the form of a BMW 760li.

Share

This post was written by

- who has written 161 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

.

5 Responses to “Crash Kills IndyCar Racer, Leaves Car in Critical Condition”

  1. Leoth Wade says:

    Is this suppose to be funny?

  2. Lily Zumb says:

    You should be ashamed of yourselves but probably lack the class to experience shame.

  3. Skoob1999 says:

    A degree in English and Creative Writing?

    And probably a Masters in lack of taste.

    Words fail.

  4. Brian White says:

    Boy Laurence, not making any friends with this one, are you?

  5. There is no humor in this whatsoever. Shame on all of you involved in writing and bringing this story to print.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks


Leave a Reply


We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Visit the “Old Version” of our Site

     
Still want more? Find thousands of buried satirical gems in our archives on the old version of Glossy News!

Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

12 posts
6 posts
4 posts
3 posts
3 posts
1 post
1 post


All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial